The Many Texts of All Might.

[almightiness]

TEXT | BURNER PHONE | USERNAME: ALLMIGHT

Text one:

HELLO CITIZENS OF RIVERVI EW! I HOPE YOUR AFTERNOON HAS BEEN TREATING YOU WELL. I WANTED TO ASK, OUT OF GENERAL CURIOSITY: HOW MANY 'HEROES' OR 'SUPERHEROES' ARE IN THIS TOWN? I HAVE RAN INTO A FEW, AND I MUST SAY, I MUST GET TO KNOW MY FELLOW DEFENDERS AND WARRIORS OF JUSTICE. IT'S IMPORTANT TO MINGLE, ISN'T IT? HAHA!

Text two:

HELLO CITIZENSD! I HAVE BEEN GIVEN SOM E BOXES OF COOKIES BUT I AM WATCHING M Y FIGURE!! WOULD ANYONE LIKE SOME OF THEM? THEY ARE SNICKERDOODLES!! SORRY FOR THE CAPSLOCKS, IT IS TOO HARD TO SWITCH BACK AND FORTH, MY FINGERSS ARE TOO BIG FOR THE KEEYSS!!

Text three:

CITIZENS, IT IS I, ALL MIGHT. I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE SURE N OBODY FEELS LONELY!! IF YOU NEED SOMEONE TO GO SEE A MOVIE WITH, DO LET ME KNOOW, I AM HAPPY TO TAKE TIME OUT OF THE DAAY TO ACCOMPANY YOU. I HAVE LESS WORK TO DO HERE, YOU SEE! AND MENTAL HEALTH ANDD HAPPINESS IS IMPORTANT!! LETS HAVE LUNCH!

Text four:

HELLO CITIZENS! I APOLOOGIZE FOR THE PERSON-SHAPEDD HOLE IN ONE OF THE COMMUNITY HALLWAAYS. SOMEONE HAD BEEN SCREAMING AND I ASSUMED THEY WERE IN DANGER, BUT IT WAS JUST A VERY SPOOKY SPIDER. THE CIVILIAN AND THE SPIDER ARE NOT HARMED!!!

Text five:

IF SOMEONE HAS RECENTLY LOST A KITTEN BY THE NAME O F 'GARBANZO BEAN', I HAVE HIM IN MY POSSESSION. THERE IS A NAME TAG BUT NO NUMBER ATTACHED.
HE IS VERY HAPPY AND HEALTHY AND IS USING MY COUCH AS A SCRATCHING POST, PLEASE LET ME KNOW AN OWNER IF YOU CAN. ΣΣ(ﾟДﾟ;)



Text six:

WHAT IS A SUGARDADDY?

[ALL MIGHT NO]

Action. | Toshinori Yagi, the skinny, undercover civilian man.



[There is a skinny, concerned man of about 7'3" standing in the local superstore, in the pet food section, with his hands full of various cat toys. And apparently the source of his misery is trying to figure out which of these twenty different kinds of cat food would be good for the young Mr. Bean residing in his private apartment. Look, toys are easy. But diets? Toshinori is more than familiar with the difficulty of a well-balanced diet!

OH THE HUMANITY, WILL HE EVER ESCAPE THIS CAT HELL.]

Comments

[almightiness]

VERY WELL!!

THEN IT IS THIS:

CAKE IS RATHER DELICIOUS, ISN'T IT??

[dothelokimotion]

[ What is happening. ]

Yes?

[almightiness]

YOU CAN'T ANSWER A QUESTION WITH ANOTHER, HOHOHO!

[GOTCHA]

[dothelokimotion]

[ Someone help him. ]

Is this still about cake or some deep seated work related issue?

[almightiness]

SPECIFICALLY ABOUT THE CAKE, REALLY.

[there is no help for you]

[dothelokimotion]

Why do you care about cake?

[almightiness]

I MOSTLY JUST APPRECIATE SEEING OTHERS DISCOVER NEW AND ENJOYABLE THINGS MY GOOD MAN!

IS THERE A CHILDHOOD TALE THAT WOULD EXPLAIN YOUR AVOIDANCE OF THIS CAKE?

[dothelokimotion]

No. I had cake as a child. I simply do not have great feeling for it.

[almightiness]

I SEE!! ARE YOU A LESS SOCIAL FELLOW AS WELL??

I TEND TO ENJOY VENTURING FOR A CAFE WHETHER MY APPETITE AGREES WITH ME OR NOT!

[dothelokimotion]

I suppose so. To some degree.

By yourself?

[almightiness]

WELL

USUALLY, I SUPPOSE. MY WORK SCHEDULE DID NOT MESH WELL WITH FRIENDS, BACK HOME!

BUT NOW I AM MUCH MORE AVAILABLE.

[dothelokimotion]

Is that why you're branching out in sugar daddies?

1/2

[almightiness]

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

[almightiness]

NO

IT WAS AN ADMIRER, ACTUALLY! BUT THAT'S NOT THE SORT OF LIFE I LEAD.

I PREFERR HELPING THE GENERAL PUBLIC, NOT SOMEONE'S WALLET.

[dothelokimotion]

I don't see why you can't do both.

[almightiness]

DOES THIS MEAN YOU'D HAVE CAKE WITH ME?

[dothelokimotion]

[ Is this what things were leading up to . . . ]

Why not?

[almightiness]

EXCELLENT. I WILL SEND YOU THE LOCATION TO A REALLY GREAT CAFE THAT SERVES THE BEST DESSERTS, IF YOU HAVE THE TIME!

[But also it needs to be in the next, like, two hours, because he's gonna turn skinny by then and that's no good.]

[dothelokimotion]

I have time. Gods rarely run out of it.

1/2

[almightiness]

VERY WELL!!!!

[almightiness]

... HOW ABOUT RIGHT NOW?

[Behold, some coordinates are being delivered for a cute little bakery.

What a doofus.]

[dothelokimotion]

Right now is feasible.

[almightiness]

VERY WELL, I WILL SEE YOU SOON!!!

[You think this is a game, man? He's there within the minute and already ordering himself a little tea. And hilariously, he looks way too big a person to be sitting at a little cafe table, and yet he does it, skilled like someone who juggles for a living.]

[dothelokimotion]

[ If All-Might is bigger than most, Loki isn't one to notice. He grew up in Asgard and Thor's muscles are the size of his head. He does dress impeccably well though, a green scarf curled around his neck. ]

Do you need a bigger table?

[almightiness]

[He gives the flashiest thumbs up from his teeny table.]

Not necessary!! I'm very used to small tables!

And small teacups.

[ho ho ho ho!!]

I'm happy to see you've made it, my good man!