@det.prettyboy; text

[causational]

Hey everyone! I don't post on here super often, but I've been laid up for a week now and I'm going a little crazy. Total cabin fever.

I used to see forums like this on the internet back home, and I thought it might be kind of fun here too, so I thought I'd give it a try, because reading those forums was always a lot of fun.

So, Crowd-Sourced Relationship Advice!

I turned on anonymous posting on here, so you can make a fake username and submit a description of a problem that you're having in your relationships, either romantic or at work or whatever, and other anonymous people can give you advice!

Or you can stay logged in on your real account. Up to you!

Comments

[bottombitch]

[ Is it really fine? Aoba's not sure, but this is something that's plagued him for years. His is a culture of oppression, repression. He's seen for himself what his checkered past earned him -- pain in watching his beloved Granny suffer alone in the kitchen without him on the day of his birthday. Her shoulders shook with her sobs, thinking he was beyond saving, beyond her reach.

And it was that sight that drew him back home. She was his lighthouse, that sanctuary that he always needed. And now he was without her. All he had was his friends, many of whom he lost. But...

But the words of this anonymous user, and some of others, definitely strike home. ]

have a bit of fun?

but doesn't that sound
sleazy?

[winscenario]

Really. Wow.

Okay, I don't know the first thing about your world, but where I'm from, so long as all the parties involved are sentient and consenting beings, there's nothing sleazy about getting together to have sex. It's fun, it's exciting. It feels great. There's literally nothing to be embarrassed or feel guilty about.

Why exactly would you call it sleazy? Just curious.

[bottombitch]

it's a little embarrassing
but i used to be the kind of person who wanted to escape
everything

i fooled around
i partied hard
basically anything would do
anyone would do
but in the end that made someone i care about very sad
to see the kid she was raising turn into someone like that

so i decided one day that i didn't want to make her cry anymore and stopped being that sleazy guy

i sometimes worry that my tastes lead me down that kind of road
even if they don't
i worry what other people would think of me
like i'm some kind of fuckboi

[winscenario]

Well, I think it depends on the reason why you do it.
Sometimes you're in a bad place and you use that sort of thing as a distraction, so you don't have to deal with how you really feel, where you're at mentally.
It can be bad. For you, for anyone else involved. Not in a sleazy way necessarily, just that not dealing with things like that can often just make them even worse. Trust me, I know. It's not fair on you, and it's not really fair on anyone you might be with, either.

So I guess the real question is: where are you at, right now? Are you still grieving, in pain? Are you just hoping to bury those feelings by partying and sleeping around?
Or are you just ready to move on? Well, not move on necessarily, but at least have fun while knowing you just won't feel miserable and guilty afterwards.

[bottombitch]

yeah
when i think about who i was then
i think my mental state really took a hit
sometimes it's all foggy
like i forget stuff that happened then
but generally speaking it was not a good time for anyone

right now i think maybe its a bit of both
i want to learn what it's like to be me
since it's not 'me and him' anymore
but i also don't know if i'll ever be over him as much as i wish i could be
and if i'm being honest here
i kind of want to have fun
instead of moping around about stuff i can't do anything about

[winscenario]

You're never completely over someone you truly loved, I think. They'll always be important to you in some way, if nothing else for the importance they had in your life while they were part of it.

It's not a bad thing. Some people mark your life in a good way, and even when they're gone, what they leave behind is still good. The memories, the feeling. I wouldn't want to forget those things, even as I move on.

You should give it a try. Having fun, that is. Maybe with someone you get along with. You could just go out for drinks and dancing, without the expectation that you'll actually jump into bed with someone. If you do meet someone that catches your eye and you feel like it? Sure, go for it. But don't feel pressured into doing that just because it's a sign you've "moved on". You should do that when you're ready.