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CAUTION: BEWARE OF STUDENTS (video; un: j.calhoun)
[ Here's Jeff Calhoun, wizard dad/teacher of youths, broadcasting live from his classroom at Gramarye. It looks a bit... chaotic right now, as there are winged origami hearts flapping around, and some kids equipped with butterfly nets and... y'know, magic, trying to round them up.
Amidst the chaos, the hearts are chirping out what sounds suspiciously like people's names, which the kids are reacting to with various degrees of shouted denials and peals of laughter.
Meanwhile, Jeff looks about as harried as if he's reporting from a warzone. But he puts on a nervous smile and waves at the camera. ]
Hey-- hi! Uh, so... one of my students got a little too into the spirit of Dragosta and brought these [ GESTURING TO THE BAT-WINGED MENACES. ] lovely cards in to share with his classmates and--
[ NO, he can't keep the charade up! ]
Okay, look, he pranked the class. And it's gone totally out of control! A batch of these little fuckers-- [ Cough. A student mock-gasps, 'Language, Mr. Calhoun!' Cue: adolescent giggling. ] --little... scamps... flew out the window, so if you see any? Don't be alarmed, and for the love of god, don't throw rocks or anything at them! If you miss, that projectile of yours will come crashing down on some innocent bystander, and I can't have that blood on my hands, because it's totally my fault for leaving the window open in the first place and failing to rule my classroom with an iron fist and--
[ BREATHE, JEFF. It's just, look, he's pretty sure this is some kind of karmic retribution for all the teachers he terrorized as a teenager, himself. ]
Uh, so just. Ignore them! They're harmless, really. All they do is follow you around shouting the name of whoever you might have a crush on.
[ Hence the kids' reactions to the various names the cards are shouting. Their secret crushes, revealed! It's totally embarrassing! ]
The enchantment should wear off in a couple of days!
[ Meanwhile, one of the origami hearts from hell lands on his desk and starts to chirp a name... but all it manages to get out is a 'CAM--' before Jeff's swatting it with a notebook. SHUSH, HEART.
...
Gosh, he actually feels kind of bad for smashing it with a notebook. Poor enchanted bat-heart... Jeff seems to remember he's still recording, so he flashes another nervous 'EVERYTHING'S FINE' smile at the camera. ]
Okay, that's all, I gotta get back to cleanup-- Bye!
[ But hey, FEEL FREE TO SAY YOUR CHARACTER'S BEING TERRORIZED BY ONE OF THESE HEARTS AS WE SPEAK. ]
Amidst the chaos, the hearts are chirping out what sounds suspiciously like people's names, which the kids are reacting to with various degrees of shouted denials and peals of laughter.
Meanwhile, Jeff looks about as harried as if he's reporting from a warzone. But he puts on a nervous smile and waves at the camera. ]
Hey-- hi! Uh, so... one of my students got a little too into the spirit of Dragosta and brought these [ GESTURING TO THE BAT-WINGED MENACES. ] lovely cards in to share with his classmates and--
[ NO, he can't keep the charade up! ]
Okay, look, he pranked the class. And it's gone totally out of control! A batch of these little fuckers-- [ Cough. A student mock-gasps, 'Language, Mr. Calhoun!' Cue: adolescent giggling. ] --little... scamps... flew out the window, so if you see any? Don't be alarmed, and for the love of god, don't throw rocks or anything at them! If you miss, that projectile of yours will come crashing down on some innocent bystander, and I can't have that blood on my hands, because it's totally my fault for leaving the window open in the first place and failing to rule my classroom with an iron fist and--
[ BREATHE, JEFF. It's just, look, he's pretty sure this is some kind of karmic retribution for all the teachers he terrorized as a teenager, himself. ]
Uh, so just. Ignore them! They're harmless, really. All they do is follow you around shouting the name of whoever you might have a crush on.
[ Hence the kids' reactions to the various names the cards are shouting. Their secret crushes, revealed! It's totally embarrassing! ]
The enchantment should wear off in a couple of days!
[ Meanwhile, one of the origami hearts from hell lands on his desk and starts to chirp a name... but all it manages to get out is a 'CAM--' before Jeff's swatting it with a notebook. SHUSH, HEART.
...
Gosh, he actually feels kind of bad for smashing it with a notebook. Poor enchanted bat-heart... Jeff seems to remember he's still recording, so he flashes another nervous 'EVERYTHING'S FINE' smile at the camera. ]
Okay, that's all, I gotta get back to cleanup-- Bye!
[ But hey, FEEL FREE TO SAY YOUR CHARACTER'S BEING TERRORIZED BY ONE OF THESE HEARTS AS WE SPEAK. ]
Private audio pnwsalex
PRIVATE FOREVER
How are you??
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[You cannot leave her in the dark like that!]
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It's really complicated-- wait, you're the queen of Complicated, anyway. Wait! I'll just skip the prologue and get to the relevant stuff.
He yelled at me about shellfish, and then we got into a big argument about other shit and I hung up on him. Then he called back to apologize, and we talked, so I told him I was into him, and we made a date for his birthday, which was the next day by the way, so it was really short notice!
Anyway, we killed a lobster together and ate it. Well, Cam killed it while I stood around apologizing to it...
It was... [ SIGH. ] A good date. [ UNDERSTATEMENT. It was a great date, and they boned. They boned, Alex!
...
He's being a gentleman and not kissing and telling to that extent, BUT THEY BONED. ]
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[But onward!]
Oh yeah, so you two definitely hooked up then?
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[ Jeff nearly chokes, because he has to throw a quick look around to make sure there aren't any lingering students (AS I'M ASSUMING HE'S COMMENTING AFTER THEY'RE GONE), before responding with: ] Yeaaaahhhh. Definitely. There's no ambiguity there.
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[She's not the one with the not!dead wife who was an agent who he's still actually married to, and the family that abandoned him for twenty years and the one who's supposed to open the door and everything else, thanks.
But there's such a grin in her voice for you, Jeff.]
So are you guys officially a thing now? Or is it just like a one time thing?
[She hopes it's not, because she wants Jeff to be happy, and Cam seems cool enough!]
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[ He kids! As for her question, he pauses. ]
Noooo, I wouldn't say anything's official. [ As much as he's down for it. There's always that question of, uh, HOW AND WHEN YOU MAKE THINGS OFFICIAL IN THE FIRST PLACE. Jeff's got plenty of experience with the casual shit, but actual relationships? Uhhh... His track record's not so great. ] We're in that casual dating, constant texting stage-- which is really cool! Texting wasn't a thing the last time I met someone who made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!
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[But anyway, Alex is here for Jam or Caff. She ships it. How can she not ship it honestly, when the two of them are just that stinking cute? Also, she's voting Jam for a name because well, it sounds better anyway. Even if Caff sounds like caffeine. ]
That is fantastic, and I'm so glad for both of you! I mean even if you're not defining it right now, I can just tell how happy he makes you!
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Am I that obvious? I am that obvious, aren't I...
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Just keep going with it and letting it happen and being wonderful. Let it be what works for you guys, so if you're obvious in it then you are!
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[ Musingly: ] How can a man that amazing be so determined to think that he isn't a total catch...?
[ A QUESTION FOR THE AGES. Though Jeff does have some insight into Cam's unluckiness in love, from their conversations. ]
Thanks, Alex!
[ A beat, before he blurts out, BECAUSE SHE'S THE ONE PERSON NOT FROM HIS WORLD WHO KNOWS ABOUT HIS PAST: ]
You know, he and I crossed paths once before? Like, a long time ago. When I was still in a band.
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Of course, Jeff! And a lot of times we just see things in people that others don't. Including themselves, a lot of times especially themselves. But that's okay, because that's why they have people like us.
And okay, you have to tell me about meeting him before. What happened?
[And was it during that whole thing with the demon or before he got so involved in it.]
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Oh, ah. Nothing exciting, really. We just... realized a couple weeks back that he'd been to one of my shows, back in LA. That's all. [ That's SO NOT ALL, but he's not going to divulge the rest of the details, since they're Cam's to tell. ] Small world, right?
It's probably for the best nothing happened back then. I was such an asshole at that age-- and that was before the 'incident,' I'm pretty sure.
[ Pretty sure, but not entirely, because the time around the Demon Incident is all scrambled in his head, anyway. ]
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[Look at who she's in one with after all. Still she is glad; Alex can't imagine that a demon possession would be a good thing for someone's relationship.]
I'm just so glad that you guys are figuring it out now. When things are not so new for you [Alex does not want to fuck up their relationship with the introduction of her own asshole into the mix.] We should definitely do a double date thing.
[Richard would hate it. It'd be amusing as hell.]
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[ So even if it was a painful memory for Cam, being flirted with and then snubbed by him, Jeff's... kind of grateful it went down like that, if only because now they've got a chance to start things out from a better point in their lives. ]
A double date? I'm so on board! We could do brunch! Or go to the beach-- or board games! I never have enough people to play a board game! [ UNTIL NOW. ]
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[There's a laugh in Alex's voice because listen, you would not believe how much she had to persuade him that their picnic was not to the beach. As for board games.]
I'm slowly working on putting together a board game night for the city, actually.
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[ He seems like a brunchy kind of guy. ]
Oh yeah? Need any help with that? [ If nothing else, Jeff's good for, uh, CARRYING STUFF AND REACHING HIGH PLACES. ]
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Isn't everyone into brunch?
And thanks, when I get that far, I'll let you know. Right now I'm trying to find space because if I host something this big at the house, Richard might just end up hiding under the porch like an overwhelmed cat or something.
[Alex is amused at that visual, but she wouldn't do that to him.]
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