riverview | CAUTION: BEWARE OF STUDENTS (video; un: j.calhoun)

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CAUTION: BEWARE OF STUDENTS (video; un: j.calhoun)

[ Here's Jeff Calhoun, wizard dad/teacher of youths, broadcasting live from his classroom at Gramarye. It looks a bit... chaotic right now, as there are winged origami hearts flapping around, and some kids equipped with butterfly nets and... y'know, magic, trying to round them up.

Amidst the chaos, the hearts are chirping out what sounds suspiciously like people's names, which the kids are reacting to with various degrees of shouted denials and peals of laughter.

Meanwhile, Jeff looks about as harried as if he's reporting from a warzone. But he puts on a nervous smile and waves at the camera. ]

Hey-- hi! Uh, so... one of my students got a little too into the spirit of Dragosta and brought these [ GESTURING TO THE BAT-WINGED MENACES. ] lovely cards in to share with his classmates and--

[ NO, he can't keep the charade up! ]

Okay, look, he pranked the class. And it's gone totally out of control! A batch of these little fuckers-- [ Cough. A student mock-gasps, 'Language, Mr. Calhoun!' Cue: adolescent giggling. ] --little... scamps... flew out the window, so if you see any? Don't be alarmed, and for the love of god, don't throw rocks or anything at them! If you miss, that projectile of yours will come crashing down on some innocent bystander, and I can't have that blood on my hands, because it's totally my fault for leaving the window open in the first place and failing to rule my classroom with an iron fist and--

[ BREATHE, JEFF. It's just, look, he's pretty sure this is some kind of karmic retribution for all the teachers he terrorized as a teenager, himself. ]

Uh, so just. Ignore them! They're harmless, really. All they do is follow you around shouting the name of whoever you might have a crush on.

[ Hence the kids' reactions to the various names the cards are shouting. Their secret crushes, revealed! It's totally embarrassing! ]

The enchantment should wear off in a couple of days!

[ Meanwhile, one of the origami hearts from hell lands on his desk and starts to chirp a name... but all it manages to get out is a 'CAM--' before Jeff's swatting it with a notebook. SHUSH, HEART.

...

Gosh, he actually feels kind of bad for smashing it with a notebook. Poor enchanted bat-heart... Jeff seems to remember he's still recording, so he flashes another nervous 'EVERYTHING'S FINE' smile at the camera. ]

Okay, that's all, I gotta get back to cleanup-- Bye!

[ But hey, FEEL FREE TO SAY YOUR CHARACTER'S BEING TERRORIZED BY ONE OF THESE HEARTS AS WE SPEAK. ]

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[ Okay she WAS lying upside-down on her bed, but now she's sitting up, a slow grin spreading across her face. ]

Did that little dude say what I think it just said?

[ Okay Poe is in his apartment, and there are not one but TWO little flapping hearts winging their way around his room, while BB-8 rolls around beneath them trying to tase them into submission. It's not working very well.

He goes quickly into his room and shuts the door as one of the hearts start to yell in its little piping voice, JOH--

SLAM GOES THE DOOR. ]

Find that student and staple these things to their forehead.

So magic is still really stupid and nothing but trouble.

*Look she has gotten mad at enough stupid magic things for one lifetime here.*

[Mikumo watches the broadcast and can't help but laugh lowly.]

My, so you are a teacher. How thrilling. And such a positive influence as well.

[She's no prude, but she does have a pure persona of mysteriousness to maintain.]

That appears to be a very dangerous situation. So many secrets spilling forth.

[Yes, that is Dorian looking quietly amused.]

You really should keep a tighter rein on your students, Jeff.

Well, that's out of the bag, huh? You okay over there, Jeff? Do we need to be worried about PETA for paper crush Howlers?

Mr. Calhoun!

[There's definitely a high, embarrassed voice on this end, sounding totally mortified. Probably because a card is flapping all around him on the street, squawking "LIZ! LIZ! LIZ!" at him while everyone else stares. He's turning. So red. How could you do this to him.]

Edited 2018-09-04 03:02 (UTC)

Is it possible to make letters that yell mean things at people you don't like?

I would like to learn.

[Someone is amusing themselves at your expense Jeff. That person is Richard Strand, asshole extraordinaire, and he SOUNDS like he's enjoying it.

Probably because if those things go after him there's no question who they'd say and he's pretty sure Alex already knows all about that.]

I would assume this, Cam would be the beginning of the name for the man you had your 'not date' with?

[Let your students have fun with that nugget of knowledge.]

[ Here's Harry in his office at the Riverview hospital. Observant folk may notice that it seems somewhat less cluttered, and the cage with his lizard Phoebe is no longer visible where it used to be.

He's holding a beaker with a book over top of it; inside is one of the little hearts flapping wildly away. The sound it's making is muffled, but it's definitely a two-syllable word that starts with sil.

Harry seems. Tense. Upset, shaken maybe, but working really hard to not show it. ]

How many days?

Now that is a beautiful prank! Quite a talented kid.

[ He's poking a flutter-heart with a claw, as it keeps calling out random names with no real order to them. Molly just likes people and has new little crushes all the time.

It's not as embarrassing as it is amusing to him. ]

[Words will come in a moment, after Hawke has a bout of raucous laughter at the spectacle.]

Oh isn't this just delightful? Teenagers come up with the stupidest, best pranks.

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