CAUTION: BEWARE OF STUDENTS (video; un: j.calhoun)

[bardish]

[ Here's Jeff Calhoun, wizard dad/teacher of youths, broadcasting live from his classroom at Gramarye. It looks a bit... chaotic right now, as there are winged origami hearts flapping around, and some kids equipped with butterfly nets and... y'know, magic, trying to round them up.

Amidst the chaos, the hearts are chirping out what sounds suspiciously like people's names, which the kids are reacting to with various degrees of shouted denials and peals of laughter.

Meanwhile, Jeff looks about as harried as if he's reporting from a warzone. But he puts on a nervous smile and waves at the camera. ]

Hey-- hi! Uh, so... one of my students got a little too into the spirit of Dragosta and brought these [ GESTURING TO THE BAT-WINGED MENACES. ] lovely cards in to share with his classmates and--

[ NO, he can't keep the charade up! ]

Okay, look, he pranked the class. And it's gone totally out of control! A batch of these little fuckers-- [ Cough. A student mock-gasps, 'Language, Mr. Calhoun!' Cue: adolescent giggling. ] --little... scamps... flew out the window, so if you see any? Don't be alarmed, and for the love of god, don't throw rocks or anything at them! If you miss, that projectile of yours will come crashing down on some innocent bystander, and I can't have that blood on my hands, because it's totally my fault for leaving the window open in the first place and failing to rule my classroom with an iron fist and--

[ BREATHE, JEFF. It's just, look, he's pretty sure this is some kind of karmic retribution for all the teachers he terrorized as a teenager, himself. ]

Uh, so just. Ignore them! They're harmless, really. All they do is follow you around shouting the name of whoever you might have a crush on.

[ Hence the kids' reactions to the various names the cards are shouting. Their secret crushes, revealed! It's totally embarrassing! ]

The enchantment should wear off in a couple of days!

[ Meanwhile, one of the origami hearts from hell lands on his desk and starts to chirp a name... but all it manages to get out is a 'CAM--' before Jeff's swatting it with a notebook. SHUSH, HEART.

...

Gosh, he actually feels kind of bad for smashing it with a notebook. Poor enchanted bat-heart... Jeff seems to remember he's still recording, so he flashes another nervous 'EVERYTHING'S FINE' smile at the camera. ]

Okay, that's all, I gotta get back to cleanup-- Bye!

[ But hey, FEEL FREE TO SAY YOUR CHARACTER'S BEING TERRORIZED BY ONE OF THESE HEARTS AS WE SPEAK. ]

Comments

[bardish]

[ Oh no, Harry doesn't look like he's enjoying this-- which, like, fair, Jeff's not enjoying this prank, either. That's why it's a prank! Nobody but the prankster and sadists get to enjoy it! ]

Ahhh... No more than three? I can't see this enchantment going that long.

[ An awkward pause. ]

You can probably kill it... It's just paper, so it's not like actually killing something!

[bestsir]

Well. If you are certain there will be no ill effects—

[ Harry vanishes from the camera view. There's some noises of rummaging, then the sound of a striking match. Then suddenly there's a loud and clear chirp of SILNA from the heart, followed by a flash and smoke.

And then Harry's back. He's holding the beaker by the edges, and at the bottom the paper heart slowly burns and smolders out, blackening and curling at the edges. ]

Is there any way to ward them off so that they do not return?

[bardish]

[ Jeff frowns a little, sympathetically, because he wants to say there's some surefire way to keep the enchanted valentines away, but... ]

Not that I know of... But there weren't that many that got loose! So the chances of another one deciding to bother you again are pretty slim!

[ Pause. He feels bad, just from seeing how tense Harry was, even though he hadn't been too overt with it. ]

For what it's worth... I don't think he meant any harm by this. My student, I mean. He just thought everyone would react to it the way he would.

[ You know. TEENAGERS. ]

[bestsir]

Boyish high spirits—yes, of course.

[ He smiles. It's a little forced, but he's trying. ]

I have nothing against the lad, of course. I was merely ... unprepared.

[bardish]

Yeah... Yeah, trust me, so was I! [ He laughs a little, trying to lighten Harry's mood. ] Good thing none of these kids even know who 'Cameron Waltz' is, or I'd never hear the end of it.

[ Wow, Jeff, YOU DIDN'T EVEN NEED THE CARD TO OUT YOUR CRUSH THAT TIME.

...

Ah well, it's not like it's that much of a secret. They're kinda-maybe dating! ]

Anyway... You okay?

switching to private

[bestsir]

[ Jeff's students may not know who Cameron is, but Harry certainly does. His eyebrows go up in surprise, but he's too well-mannered to comment. He does smile, though. ]

I will be.

[ A quiet sigh. ]

I have tried, coming here, to leave as much of my past behind me as possible. So that was ...

[ A pause while he searches for a word. ]

Sweet and bitter all at once, I think.

private foreverrrr

[bardish]

[ GOD BLESS YOUR MANNERS, HARRY. ]

Yeah... Suddenly getting slapped in the face by your past is-- it's a lot. I don't think you can ever really prepare for it, you know?

[bestsir]

I have been thinking about it rather more lately, since Alex Reagan raised the possibility of others from my world coming here. But thinking about it is altogether different from any actuality.

[ He peers into the beaker, where the little heart is now so much curled and dusty ash. ]

You and she both have others from your own worlds here. Has that been—what has it been like, for you?

[bardish]

Uh... To be honest? It's been a lifesaver.

I was pretty miserable until Athena showed up. And then Cam... [ He hesitates before admitting: ] I don't know what I would've ended up doing without them. Especially after the cult thing.

[ A pause, before he ventures: ] Are there a lot of people you'd want to see here?

[bestsir]

[ Harry puts the beaker down and gently spins it on the table, stalling, before he answers. ]

One. No, perhaps ... four. No more than that.

What happened to me—to our expedition—it was—

[ A pause, a sigh. ]

Being captured by the cult was, in hindsight, simplicity itself by comparison.

[bardish]

[ He's quiet for a moment, trying to figure out how to toe the line between encouraging and prying: ]

The kind of experience that really sticks with you, right? Especially when you'd rather think about anything else.

[bestsir]

Yes.

[ The smallest, bleakest of smiles. ]

Suffice it to say that ... I do not think there is any way I will be returning to my own world.

[bardish]

[ Jeff smiles back at him, trying to offer some warmth in response to the bleakness. ]

I think there are a lot of people here in that position. [ Jeff's not one of them, but there was a time he could've been. If he'd found himself here at another point in his life, he might've taken it for a fresh start. ] You're not alone-- I mean, in that respect.

[ BUT THAT BEING SAID... ]

Y'know, when you get a second chance, they never tell you how hard it really is. You've still got another life to mourn.

[ Your old one, he means. And, in Harry's case, his old life, plus others'. He can't even imagine how hard that must be, given whatever happened. ]

[bestsir]

[ He starts a little, but only because what Jeff says has just given him an entirely new perspective. ]

I had not thought of it in precisely those terms—but you are exactly correct. And not simply a life, but a world, and all that one has known and lived with since birth.

[bardish]

I can't pretend to know what it's like, I mean, with everything that happened before you were dropped here, but... [ Jeff rubs the back of his neck, wincing sympathetically. ] I've done the whole 'second chance' thing before.

[ He tries to figure out how to put it. ] It's like... You're grateful for it, but you can't help but feel sad. And then you wonder if that makes you ungrateful...

At least, that's how it was for me.

[bestsir]

Yes. Yes, it is exactly like that.

[ A sigh. ]

All I can do, I think, is to try and be the best man that I can—the man I believed I was, before—before the end. And to not waste this time I have been given.

[bardish]

Yeah, you want to be able to do that. [ He offers another smile. ] But don't get hard on yourself if you're still grieving a little.

[ He pauses for a moment, thinking. As usual, it's easier to focus on somebody else than deal with his own shit, so Jeff's only TOO HAPPY to keep talking this out with Harry. ]

What's something you always wanted to do, that you never got a chance to before? Like... Something just for you!

[bestsir]

[ There's something about the way Jeff asks that question; it's absolutely impossible not to smile in response, even if the answer is ... slightly less than entirely happy. ]

I had hoped, on my return from the Arctic, to write a book about the flora and fauna that I found there. Much like Charles Darwin's account of his voyage to the Galápagos.

[ Dawning realisation: ] Perhaps the settlement here would benefit from something similar.

[bardish]

[ Enjoy some of Jeff's relentless support and enthusiasm, Harry: ] This settlement could totally benefit from something like that!

You've got an opportunity here to chronicle things Charles Darwin never could've imagined!

[bestsir]

You are right.

[ You can actually see Harry's mood lifting at this idea. ]

I don't imagine Darwin would have ever envisioned a fire-breathing fox, to say nothing of some of the other creatures I have seen here.