CAUTION: BEWARE OF STUDENTS (video; un: j.calhoun)

[bardish]

[ Here's Jeff Calhoun, wizard dad/teacher of youths, broadcasting live from his classroom at Gramarye. It looks a bit... chaotic right now, as there are winged origami hearts flapping around, and some kids equipped with butterfly nets and... y'know, magic, trying to round them up.

Amidst the chaos, the hearts are chirping out what sounds suspiciously like people's names, which the kids are reacting to with various degrees of shouted denials and peals of laughter.

Meanwhile, Jeff looks about as harried as if he's reporting from a warzone. But he puts on a nervous smile and waves at the camera. ]

Hey-- hi! Uh, so... one of my students got a little too into the spirit of Dragosta and brought these [ GESTURING TO THE BAT-WINGED MENACES. ] lovely cards in to share with his classmates and--

[ NO, he can't keep the charade up! ]

Okay, look, he pranked the class. And it's gone totally out of control! A batch of these little fuckers-- [ Cough. A student mock-gasps, 'Language, Mr. Calhoun!' Cue: adolescent giggling. ] --little... scamps... flew out the window, so if you see any? Don't be alarmed, and for the love of god, don't throw rocks or anything at them! If you miss, that projectile of yours will come crashing down on some innocent bystander, and I can't have that blood on my hands, because it's totally my fault for leaving the window open in the first place and failing to rule my classroom with an iron fist and--

[ BREATHE, JEFF. It's just, look, he's pretty sure this is some kind of karmic retribution for all the teachers he terrorized as a teenager, himself. ]

Uh, so just. Ignore them! They're harmless, really. All they do is follow you around shouting the name of whoever you might have a crush on.

[ Hence the kids' reactions to the various names the cards are shouting. Their secret crushes, revealed! It's totally embarrassing! ]

The enchantment should wear off in a couple of days!

[ Meanwhile, one of the origami hearts from hell lands on his desk and starts to chirp a name... but all it manages to get out is a 'CAM--' before Jeff's swatting it with a notebook. SHUSH, HEART.

...

Gosh, he actually feels kind of bad for smashing it with a notebook. Poor enchanted bat-heart... Jeff seems to remember he's still recording, so he flashes another nervous 'EVERYTHING'S FINE' smile at the camera. ]

Okay, that's all, I gotta get back to cleanup-- Bye!

[ But hey, FEEL FREE TO SAY YOUR CHARACTER'S BEING TERRORIZED BY ONE OF THESE HEARTS AS WE SPEAK. ]

Comments

[tevinteraltus]

Is that right? [He chuckles.] What is it you're teaching them, exactly?

[bardish]

How to be model citizens. As you can see, this kid failed the assignment.

[ Okay, okay, that's not a serious answer at all. ]

[tevinteraltus]

They teach morality at Gramarye, now? I should pay more attention.

[And he's smirking. Totally.]

[bardish]

That's right! Next week's topics are: saying no to drugs and respecting your elders! Two things I'm definitely qualified to teach.

[tevinteraltus]

[He looks amused.]

Are you now?

[bardish]

No-- wait-- [ Now that he's actually considering it, instead of just joking around: ] God, I hope I would actually be qualified for something like that...

[ ANYWAY... ]

We're actually making up our own country. Each of my kids are taking on a different topic, like, history, arts, government, economy... [ LOOK, it's a fun way to hit the topics and cover concepts the individual kids need the most attention in. ]

[tevinteraltus]

[You know what, Jeff. He actually pauses, and mulls over this lesson plan.]

A practical application of cultural evolution. I'm actually impressed.

[bardish]

'Actually' impressed? Did you think all I was doing was babysit--

[ Wait. Jeff pauses, considers the post HE JUST MADE, in all its hectic chaos and tomfoolery. ]

Okay, I'm not gonna walk into that one. I'll just take the compliment. Thank you!

[tevinteraltus]

[A knowing smile touches Dorian's lips.]

There's a good man. I wonder, though, what is it that restricts these children from attending common school? This is a research institute, after all.

...we aren't performing experiments on these children, are we?

[bardish]

What-- no! [ DON'T YOU DARE JOKE ABOUT THATTTT-- he's so protective of his students. ]

I don't know why the classes are here instead of the school, man; this is just the job they offered me when I got here.

[ But, Jeff mulls over it for a moment before answering. ]

On paper: they've got a lot of magic and not a lot of control. But, I think it's more... they're just more comfortable here, around other Gifted-- er. Magic users.

Not every world is so great for people with magic.

[tevinteraltus]

Oh, of that there is no doubt. We are able to touch the fundamental nature of existence. Those born without magic...really cannot understand us, not fully. I was...slightly concerned, of course. My own homeland not withstanding, elsewhere, until very recently, "gifted" children were handed over to the Chantry to be watched over by vigilant Templars while they were educated...in "Circles of Magi" from which they were only permitted to leave under guard "for the good of themselves and others". If Gramarye was something similar, I would have to review my means of employ. Do we need regulation? Yes, certainly, as does anyone with a weapon. Incarceration is a bit much.

[bardish]

[ Jeff frowns thoughtfully, listening to that. Funny, how magic is practically mundane in his world; he hadn't realized just how much of a privilege that was until he came here and met others. ]

If they were doing anything like that at Gramarye, I sure as hell wouldn't be working here.

They don't do that anymore, though? The whole 'Chantry' thing?

[tevinteraltus]

[He shakes his head.]

Some move to reinstate the Circles, now that the rebellion is over. Others feel mages deserve equal rights. In other parts of Thedas, outside of the Tevinter Imperium, if one is discovered to be a mage, typically, they're stripped of all rank and are unable to hold political office. The Chantry teaches "Magic is to serve Man, never to Rule over him." In the south, they interpret that tenet rather...dogmatically, or they did before the mage rebellion. In Tevinter, some feel that means we should rule, as to do so is "serving the people". I don't believe either is correct. Needless to say, I have few friends. Still, I would rather few friends and a clear conscience.

[bardish]

[ Well... He can't blame the mages from Dorian's world for rebelling, if that's what it was like for them. His brow creases, trying to imagine living in a place like... well, any of the ones Dorian describes.

Not that his own world is perfect. Hell, even if things are more or less stable between Gifted and standards alike, Jeff remembers how it was different in a lot of little ways when he was growing up. ]

Well, I'll be your friend. [ Because he can admire STANDING BY WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN. ] So now you've got a few plus one!

[tevinteraltus]

[He smiles slightly.]

I appreciate that, Jeff, and I'd go so far to say I'm yours as well, though being of an education background gives you no excuse for poor fashion choices. Something will need to be done for that.

[He pauses, tapping his chin.]

When was the last time you bought a suit? A casual coat, even?

[bardish]

[ Jeff smiles in return, very nearly touched, UNTIL HE LETS OUT A STARTLED LAUGH. ]

I have a suit! I have several! [ Pause. ] They're just... Back home. In my world.

[ He hasn't had a reason to get a suit here. THOUGH, now that he's got a boyfriend to impress... Jeff rubs the back of his neck. ]

Should I get a suit...?

[tevinteraltus]

I recall your asking my opinion on fashion and making an impression. Before you ever speak, it is your clothing that speaks for you.

[He breathes a sigh.]

Of course you need a suit. Several.

[bardish]

That was more date jitters than 'I don't know how to dress myself' jitters!

[ But... Dorian IS definitely more sartorially-inclined than Jeff, so he's willing to listen to the expert here.

It's not like his closet full of plaid and jeans is going anywhere. ]

I just don't like putting on one of those... classic black suits. It makes me feel like I run a funeral home! [ WHIIIINE. ]

[tevinteraltus]

Please, don't insult me. Just a moment.

[And the feed cuts off while Dorian does some photography. In a moment, attached is an image of this laid upon a very nice bed.]

This is my latest purchase.

[He has no one to wear it for, but the man is prepared.]