![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
CAUTION: BEWARE OF STUDENTS (video; un: j.calhoun)
[ Here's Jeff Calhoun, wizard dad/teacher of youths, broadcasting live from his classroom at Gramarye. It looks a bit... chaotic right now, as there are winged origami hearts flapping around, and some kids equipped with butterfly nets and... y'know, magic, trying to round them up.
Amidst the chaos, the hearts are chirping out what sounds suspiciously like people's names, which the kids are reacting to with various degrees of shouted denials and peals of laughter.
Meanwhile, Jeff looks about as harried as if he's reporting from a warzone. But he puts on a nervous smile and waves at the camera. ]
Hey-- hi! Uh, so... one of my students got a little too into the spirit of Dragosta and brought these [ GESTURING TO THE BAT-WINGED MENACES. ] lovely cards in to share with his classmates and--
[ NO, he can't keep the charade up! ]
Okay, look, he pranked the class. And it's gone totally out of control! A batch of these little fuckers-- [ Cough. A student mock-gasps, 'Language, Mr. Calhoun!' Cue: adolescent giggling. ] --little... scamps... flew out the window, so if you see any? Don't be alarmed, and for the love of god, don't throw rocks or anything at them! If you miss, that projectile of yours will come crashing down on some innocent bystander, and I can't have that blood on my hands, because it's totally my fault for leaving the window open in the first place and failing to rule my classroom with an iron fist and--
[ BREATHE, JEFF. It's just, look, he's pretty sure this is some kind of karmic retribution for all the teachers he terrorized as a teenager, himself. ]
Uh, so just. Ignore them! They're harmless, really. All they do is follow you around shouting the name of whoever you might have a crush on.
[ Hence the kids' reactions to the various names the cards are shouting. Their secret crushes, revealed! It's totally embarrassing! ]
The enchantment should wear off in a couple of days!
[ Meanwhile, one of the origami hearts from hell lands on his desk and starts to chirp a name... but all it manages to get out is a 'CAM--' before Jeff's swatting it with a notebook. SHUSH, HEART.
...
Gosh, he actually feels kind of bad for smashing it with a notebook. Poor enchanted bat-heart... Jeff seems to remember he's still recording, so he flashes another nervous 'EVERYTHING'S FINE' smile at the camera. ]
Okay, that's all, I gotta get back to cleanup-- Bye!
[ But hey, FEEL FREE TO SAY YOUR CHARACTER'S BEING TERRORIZED BY ONE OF THESE HEARTS AS WE SPEAK. ]
Amidst the chaos, the hearts are chirping out what sounds suspiciously like people's names, which the kids are reacting to with various degrees of shouted denials and peals of laughter.
Meanwhile, Jeff looks about as harried as if he's reporting from a warzone. But he puts on a nervous smile and waves at the camera. ]
Hey-- hi! Uh, so... one of my students got a little too into the spirit of Dragosta and brought these [ GESTURING TO THE BAT-WINGED MENACES. ] lovely cards in to share with his classmates and--
[ NO, he can't keep the charade up! ]
Okay, look, he pranked the class. And it's gone totally out of control! A batch of these little fuckers-- [ Cough. A student mock-gasps, 'Language, Mr. Calhoun!' Cue: adolescent giggling. ] --little... scamps... flew out the window, so if you see any? Don't be alarmed, and for the love of god, don't throw rocks or anything at them! If you miss, that projectile of yours will come crashing down on some innocent bystander, and I can't have that blood on my hands, because it's totally my fault for leaving the window open in the first place and failing to rule my classroom with an iron fist and--
[ BREATHE, JEFF. It's just, look, he's pretty sure this is some kind of karmic retribution for all the teachers he terrorized as a teenager, himself. ]
Uh, so just. Ignore them! They're harmless, really. All they do is follow you around shouting the name of whoever you might have a crush on.
[ Hence the kids' reactions to the various names the cards are shouting. Their secret crushes, revealed! It's totally embarrassing! ]
The enchantment should wear off in a couple of days!
[ Meanwhile, one of the origami hearts from hell lands on his desk and starts to chirp a name... but all it manages to get out is a 'CAM--' before Jeff's swatting it with a notebook. SHUSH, HEART.
...
Gosh, he actually feels kind of bad for smashing it with a notebook. Poor enchanted bat-heart... Jeff seems to remember he's still recording, so he flashes another nervous 'EVERYTHING'S FINE' smile at the camera. ]
Okay, that's all, I gotta get back to cleanup-- Bye!
[ But hey, FEEL FREE TO SAY YOUR CHARACTER'S BEING TERRORIZED BY ONE OF THESE HEARTS AS WE SPEAK. ]
no subject
no subject
[ Okay, Poe is impressed in spite of himself--
And here comes the other heart, fluttering toward his head with a cry of JO-- Poe slams the door again. ]
no subject
[ OOPS.
Is it saying 'Joe'? Jeff's racking his brains trying to think of a Joe-- NO, STOP. This isn't his business!!
It's just, y'know, he's a curious person. And curiosity killed the bard-- no, wait, that's not a saying, nobody says that. ]
Should I, uh... Pretend I'm not hearing any of that?
private;
It's nothing. It's wrong anyway. [ HE AND JOH JOE ARE JUST FRIENDS!! ]
private;
Oh...
[ Should he say it? He'll say it. ]
That's a whole lot of private filter for nothing.
no subject
Poe scrubs a hand through his hair. ]
John. It's saying John. He's one of the pilots, in the... Doesn't matter--it's complicated. Anyway it's wrong.
no subject
You know what, nevermind, I won't pry as to the identity of this particular John.
[ UNLESS YOU WANNA SPILL MORE, POE. ]
I mean, we're talking about a prank spell concocted by a teenager. It's not like this is the word of god we're dealing with.
[ THAT BEING SAID... ]
So it's complicated and wrong?
no subject
[ THE SAME JOHN WHO WHAT, JEFF???? ]
I-- That-- Yes.
[ V convincing. A slightly helpless look on Poe's part. ]
It can't be right. [ Because reasons. ]
no subject
[ Like, in a friend way! ]
Oh, okay. But... uh. How come it can't be right?
no subject
Poe clears his throat. ]
Because, we don't-- He's-- I can't. [ HE'S NOT ALLOWED. ]
no subject
[ Pause. ]
I'm pretty sure he's not strictly straight, if that's what you're worried about.
Wait.
Unless you're--
[ POE, ARE YOU SEXUALLY CONFUSED? DOES JEFF NEED TO TELL YOU IT'S OKAY IF YOU LIKE DUDES? ]
no subject
no subject
[ How to approach this ~delicately~? ]
You've liked guys before, right?
no subject
Yes! Of course I've--I've liked more genders than even exist here!
no subject
Okay, just making sure! So what's the problem here?
no subject
no subject
[ OKAY. NOW IT'S MAKING SENSE. ]
So, you screwed up, but you still like him. According to an enchanted piece of scrap paper.
no subject
no subject
So he ended things?
no subject
I did.
no subject
no subject
Poe scratches his forehead, looks away, debates not saying anything and maybe just hanging up but that would be... it would be the same thing he did to John on a vastly smaller scale.
Finally: ]
I got scared.
no subject
no subject
Ever happen to you?
no subject
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)