video; un: b1gbrother, backdated to Aug 19

[relieable]

_{[ The feed clicks on and there’s Karamatsu— not dressed in anything too horrific this time, but rather something like this. He's posed perfectly against the corner of a wall in his housing, a lamp casting light on him. There’s a rose in his hand? And he takes a big whiff of it. Yeah, please help him. ]}

Aaah, sometimes.. finding love is so brutal-- so difficult and painstaking! I think of it maybe it is better off to be alone instead. Perhaps, you feel the same way too. Perhaps you are waiting for love to sweep you off of your feet, whisk you away to a majestic land— a land of dreams come true! Ah, that’s right, the truest love that even YOU and you deserve!

Heh. Endless love, so distant.

Perhaps, then, you will be happy. Perhaps, then, you will be set free— as your heart is in shackles, aching from heartbreak.. from the diseases of other burning loves! You should search no longer--

[the device is suddenly moved and settles on the face of... another Karamatsu? but when he talks, he has a much different voice. it’s a bit higher than his brother’s. it wasn’t Ichimatsu, just who was this guy, now?]

You’re lonely, and we get that... We really do, more than you know... [he pulls back a little ways, revealing that he is also wearing a nice suit] So! That’s why, we’ve decided to offer our services to you guys! I know, I know, we’re pretty awesome, right? You can thank us all you want, later!

For now, you may be wondering, what are these services, because of course you are. Get this! We’ve decided to give you all the once-in-a-lifetime chance to date us! That’s right! For just a small fee, you can go out with [he jerks his thumb off to the side] Karamatsu over there, or me, the older, more experienced, but not too experienced, [WINK] Osomatsu!

A fee? There is no fee. The only fee they should be willing to pay is with their hearts! Ah, worry not, my honeys! We will be available to date.. free of charge! _{[ EYING OSOMATSU FIRMLY….. ]}

[the camera falls on Karamatsu for a bit, and Osomatsu winces at his expression. Why... why is he like this? Osomatsu sets the device down, so that the camera angles up and at nothing, but you can still hear the brothers in the background]

What do you mean, "There is no fee?" Of course there’s a fee! We can’t just give ourselves away, idiot!

Love should have no price, you are just being greedy!
_{[ aaaand they’re just going to keep bickering until the feed ends. ]}

Comments

[bunnyhopped]

[ She just. Watches, unfazed by the brotherly bickering taking place in front of her. ]

That seems kinda opposite, don't you think? That's like saying once you find your soulmate then you have to keep paying them.

[relieable]

Haa? What are you talking about? There's no way we're gonna find soulmates here.

[bunnyhopped]

Well, definitely not with that attitude!

[relieable]

This quarantine's not very big, there aren't a lot of people. The chances of finding someone like that is... like... one in a million.

[glitterpants]

_{[ BOUNCES BACK OVER HERE— ]}

One in a million! That is.. an actual chance, Osomatsu-niisan! There is a chance! You just have to believe in yourself! Ah, better yet.. believe in me-- I have more faith in you!
_{[ go ahead, shove him out of the screen again, that's ok.. ]}

[relieable]

[you know. Osomatsu would punch him. except that Karamatsu called him Osomatsu-niisan... that, like, rarely happens! just for that, Osomatsu's going to kind of compliment him!]

Well, you know more people here than I do so... I guess you've got a better chance? [maybe???]

[glitterpants]

_{[ oh man, don't put the conversation back on him.. ]}

A-ah, you think so? Oi, this girl, I met her already, actually!
_{[ HE POINTS. ]}
D.va-san! This is my brother, Osomatsu! He isn't the one I wanted you to meet, though.
_{[ why would you say this right in front of him.. ]}

[bunnyhopped]

[ She's just sort of... watching the sibling shenanigans going down before her. She doesn't have any, but it seems... fun?

There's definitely a concerted effort not to laugh at 'D.Va-san' again, though she clearly doesn't complain about it.]

Oh? Where is the one you wanted me to meet, then?

Nice to meet you anyway, Osomatsu. I guess. I'm not paying for a date though.

[ Just. to make that clear. ]

[relieable]

[hnnng cute girl... versus money...]

Nice to meet you, uh... Diva-san? I'm sure you'll meet Ichimatsu soon enough.

[bunnyhopped]

I'd better, or else I'll be really disappointed in all six of you!

[ yes, even the ones that aren't around. She'll throw in a wink, too, to emphasize her teasing point. Just look how cute she is, wow! ]

not here

[glitterpants]

_{[ SHE'S SO CUTE, HE'S GOING TO DIIIIIIE.
YOU BETTER DIE WITH HIM TOO, NII-SAN. ]}

[glitterpants]

Ah, yes! Ichimatsu, well..
_{[ well, he's been acting really evasive lately. Karamatsu hasn't really spoken to him in a good while. ]}

I am not certain what he has been doing lately— he is a lot more reclusive! But I promise that I won't disappoint you!
_{[ he'll drag Ichimatsu out by his ankles if he has to. ]}

[bunnyhopped]

Uh-huh. And are you charging for people to meet your brothers too or no?

[relieable]

Ichimatsu's not involved, so you can see him for free!

[bunnyhopped]

Well, at least there's that.

Are you getting any offers at all?

[glitterpants]

_{[ Maybe they should charge people to see Ichimatsu. He's weird enough.. with his cat powers and whatever.
But anyway, Karamatsu simply looks over at Osomatsu, not sure of what to say. So far, people haven't been taking them seriously. He snaps his finger, then builds up the suspense, and then: ]}

Absolutely not! Oh, but that just means we will have more time for you if that is your desire. ♡

[bunnyhopped]

[ She just waves her hand and, in a completely nonchalant tone, ]

Nah, that's okay.

Why are you guys doing this, anyway? And isn't it kind of weird to be going on a date along with your brother?

[relieable]

Uhh... no one ever said we were goin on dates together...did he?

[eyes Karamatsu suspiciously]

[glitterpants]

_{[ They've gone on dates together before. All six of them after the same two women. It worked out great! For awhile, at least. ]}

Ah! I never mentioned that, but I would not be opposed if you want two boyfriends at once!
_{[ then, in a lower tone of voice, but gentle: ]}

You do have two hands to hold, after all.
_{[ SHE ALREADY DENIED YOU. THIS IS THE SECOND TIME. ]}

[bunnyhopped]

[ See this face? This is the face of a young lady who doesn't know whether to laugh or be disgusted. ]

Uh. No. No thanks. I may have two hands to hold, but they're exclusive. I don't let guys hold my hand that easily and I'm definitely not paying anyone for it. If anything, guys should be paying to hold my hand.

[glitterpants]

—How much?

_{[ Karamatsu, you're the one who is suppose to be getting money from this, not losing your money. Remember what happened last time? You lost everything. ]}

[relieable]

[Osomatsu calmly smacks Karamatsu upside the head]

[bunnyhopped]

[ Thank you, because Hana definitely just makes A Face and then shakes her head, folding her arms and looking away from the camera. ]

I'm not offering!

[glitterpants]

_{[ Whoa! He just got ~*~*DOUBLE REJECTED*~*~ so smoothly! Who is this lady? He doesn't even care that his brother hit him over the head. ]}

I-I see, I will respect that, especially when you're being so kind to me!
_{[ ???? this is kindness... ]}

If you change your mind and want to go on a date with us— or moi, I'm sure we can give you a discount!
_{[ he's gone, there's no coming back. ]}