video; un: b1gbrother, backdated to Aug 19

[relieable]

_{[ The feed clicks on and there’s Karamatsu— not dressed in anything too horrific this time, but rather something like this. He's posed perfectly against the corner of a wall in his housing, a lamp casting light on him. There’s a rose in his hand? And he takes a big whiff of it. Yeah, please help him. ]}

Aaah, sometimes.. finding love is so brutal-- so difficult and painstaking! I think of it maybe it is better off to be alone instead. Perhaps, you feel the same way too. Perhaps you are waiting for love to sweep you off of your feet, whisk you away to a majestic land— a land of dreams come true! Ah, that’s right, the truest love that even YOU and you deserve!

Heh. Endless love, so distant.

Perhaps, then, you will be happy. Perhaps, then, you will be set free— as your heart is in shackles, aching from heartbreak.. from the diseases of other burning loves! You should search no longer--

[the device is suddenly moved and settles on the face of... another Karamatsu? but when he talks, he has a much different voice. it’s a bit higher than his brother’s. it wasn’t Ichimatsu, just who was this guy, now?]

You’re lonely, and we get that... We really do, more than you know... [he pulls back a little ways, revealing that he is also wearing a nice suit] So! That’s why, we’ve decided to offer our services to you guys! I know, I know, we’re pretty awesome, right? You can thank us all you want, later!

For now, you may be wondering, what are these services, because of course you are. Get this! We’ve decided to give you all the once-in-a-lifetime chance to date us! That’s right! For just a small fee, you can go out with [he jerks his thumb off to the side] Karamatsu over there, or me, the older, more experienced, but not too experienced, [WINK] Osomatsu!

A fee? There is no fee. The only fee they should be willing to pay is with their hearts! Ah, worry not, my honeys! We will be available to date.. free of charge! _{[ EYING OSOMATSU FIRMLY….. ]}

[the camera falls on Karamatsu for a bit, and Osomatsu winces at his expression. Why... why is he like this? Osomatsu sets the device down, so that the camera angles up and at nothing, but you can still hear the brothers in the background]

What do you mean, "There is no fee?" Of course there’s a fee! We can’t just give ourselves away, idiot!

Love should have no price, you are just being greedy!
_{[ aaaand they’re just going to keep bickering until the feed ends. ]}

Comments

video @d.va

[bunnyhopped]

[ S Q U I N T ]

You guys honestly think you're gonna get any bites charging people to go on a date?

video; @star-lord

[nostalgiabomb]

[ Welp. On a different day, Peter would be reeling over the fact that there's two of these dudes, what the fuck. As it is, he's just sort of observing their antics like someone else might watch an episode of The Odd Couple.

Thanks, memory loss. You're a real pal. ]

... You guys realize you're basically just starting up an escort service, right?

@Sly Blue; text

[bottombitch]

Kara-kun, isn't a free escort service just normal dating?

If the two of you are doing this, where's Ichimatsu? I haven't met him yet.

Video @Ozymandias

[dendera]

Are you simply offering yourselves to whatever woman will have you?
[He's here to judge your life choices again, Karamatsu. It's plain on his face.]

You will have no success with that, there is nothing less attractive than a desperate man. A woman wants to know that you are devoted to her because of who she is as an individual, not because she is the only one who would have you.
[This is.... weirdly rational commentary. He sounds like he's speaking from experience.]

text; ny4n

[ichimyatsu]

did you guys not learn from this when we were tricked by it or something

text; knight.time

[chumpelstiltskin]

am i too late to make fun of you yet or have i missed that train