video; un: b1gbrother, backdated to Aug 19

[relieable]

_{[ The feed clicks on and there’s Karamatsu— not dressed in anything too horrific this time, but rather something like this. He's posed perfectly against the corner of a wall in his housing, a lamp casting light on him. There’s a rose in his hand? And he takes a big whiff of it. Yeah, please help him. ]}

Aaah, sometimes.. finding love is so brutal-- so difficult and painstaking! I think of it maybe it is better off to be alone instead. Perhaps, you feel the same way too. Perhaps you are waiting for love to sweep you off of your feet, whisk you away to a majestic land— a land of dreams come true! Ah, that’s right, the truest love that even YOU and you deserve!

Heh. Endless love, so distant.

Perhaps, then, you will be happy. Perhaps, then, you will be set free— as your heart is in shackles, aching from heartbreak.. from the diseases of other burning loves! You should search no longer--

[the device is suddenly moved and settles on the face of... another Karamatsu? but when he talks, he has a much different voice. it’s a bit higher than his brother’s. it wasn’t Ichimatsu, just who was this guy, now?]

You’re lonely, and we get that... We really do, more than you know... [he pulls back a little ways, revealing that he is also wearing a nice suit] So! That’s why, we’ve decided to offer our services to you guys! I know, I know, we’re pretty awesome, right? You can thank us all you want, later!

For now, you may be wondering, what are these services, because of course you are. Get this! We’ve decided to give you all the once-in-a-lifetime chance to date us! That’s right! For just a small fee, you can go out with [he jerks his thumb off to the side] Karamatsu over there, or me, the older, more experienced, but not too experienced, [WINK] Osomatsu!

A fee? There is no fee. The only fee they should be willing to pay is with their hearts! Ah, worry not, my honeys! We will be available to date.. free of charge! _{[ EYING OSOMATSU FIRMLY….. ]}

[the camera falls on Karamatsu for a bit, and Osomatsu winces at his expression. Why... why is he like this? Osomatsu sets the device down, so that the camera angles up and at nothing, but you can still hear the brothers in the background]

What do you mean, "There is no fee?" Of course there’s a fee! We can’t just give ourselves away, idiot!

Love should have no price, you are just being greedy!
_{[ aaaand they’re just going to keep bickering until the feed ends. ]}

Comments

[video] un: b1gbrother

[relieable]

Maybe it works that way for hot guys, like you. But Women can be just as desperate as men in the real world. Somewhere, in this quarantine, there are some lonely women or men who need companionship. Karamatsu an' I are reaching out to those people.

[dendera]

[Well, he's certainly not going to argue that he is hot. After all, he carries the sun's power within him, though he doesn't really see how it's relevant, especially since it was not something he carried in him as strongly when he was alive. And for that matter, how did this man he's never met in person know? Very strange.]

Hah, I suppose if you are willing to sink this low, those as desperate as you is all you deserve.
[Considering.]

Certainly, you may find someone that way, but do you expect to really find one you can happily spend your life with?

[relieable]

Uh, no. Not really. Like I told someone else, the chances of finding true love here are pretty slim.

[dendera]

[He seems genuinely confused by this.]
Then what it it exactly that you are trying to accomplish?

[A frown, before confirming;]
You said "dating," is that not the modern form of courtship? I was under that impression. In which case, I cannot think of what other reason you would seek to undertake it. Certainly as far as I have been made aware, you brothers [He's just assuming] are in no station to be arranging marriages for political reasons.

[relieable]

[....????? who is this guy? why does he talk so formally, or like he's from the past?]

I think you're reading too much into the word dating! Back where I come from, if people want companionship, they can buy it. I'm just tryin' to earn some extra cash, maybe make a few friends along the way.

[or more. he hopes, but he's not holding his breath, or anything]

[dendera]

[Perhaps you may come to discover he talks like he's from the past.... because he is from the past.]

... Ah, companionship. [For some reason, that's the word that clues him into what this really is. Or maybe he's just slow on the uptake and figured it out just now for unrelated reasons? Who knows. He's frowning again, though.]

I was not aware men could be prostitutes now as well as women. Though, I suppose since women are more often self-sufficient in these times they would have more call for such a thing.
[He seems pretty satisfied with the insane trail of logic he's gone on to reach this conclusion.]

[relieable]

[ah.........

Osomatsu opens his mouth to argue. the word prostitution sounds so harsh! but is it really wrong? he closes his mouth and looks away for a moment, considering on how to answer him]

Yeah, women are pretty strong nowadays. [then his focus is back on the other man] You're, uh... You sound like you're not from a current time and place. [just gonna change the subject, are we? okay]

[dendera]

[It's fine, Oz will never begrudge the subject change to himself, after all, he is great and should be discussed at length.]
Certainly I am not. Assuming this place is similar to when I was previously summoned, the time when I was alive was over three thousand years ago.

It was a time when my glorious radiant country of Egypt was at its height. For of course no Pharaoh after nor before could hope to rule as effectively as I, Ozymandias, King of Kings!
[That sure is A Title that he proclaims with 100% confidence. Even over video, you can almost feel a physical weight to his words.]

[relieable]

[a slow blink. Osomatsu stares for a while, processing. it's unsure as to whether or not he actually believes this man or not]

You're a pharaoh? ...That's like... one of those Egyptian guys, right? [Oz just said Egypt, didn't he? Osomatsu's sort of paying attention. he even does the Walk Like an Egyptian dance pose]

[dendera]

[Oz squints as if he's unsure whether to be offended by the mimicry of the art depicted on his people's grand temples and tombs.... but seems to decide he'll overlook it, since he doesn't get mad.]

I am no mere "guy," as you say, but yes. At its height, Egypt's people were led by the Pharaoh. More that the "kings" of other countries, Pharaoh draw power from the gods themselves! I, myself, in all my brilliance and power, have within my very blood the power of the almighty Sun God Ra himself.
[Pharaoh are powerful and he is the most powerful of them all, is apparently what he's trying to say.]

[relieable]

[Osomatsu's paying more attention now... huh. so essentially this guy is a king. the wheels in his head are turning]

That's... Really cool! You're a powerful leader then? How'd you wind up in this dump?

[dendera]

[A really dramatic king who doesn't understand modern slang or dating, yes.]

Hah. Under normal circumstances, certainly there is no reason I would allow them to have brought me here. [That's absolutely not how it works, Oz.] But I am currently what is known as a "heroic spirit," and my purpose is to be summoned by those who call for me, essentially. So I will allow it, in this case.

[relieable]

[????]

Okay... Well, that's still pretty amazing. I guess you'd have a lot of money. Right?

[stop]

[dendera]

[Osomatsu no]

... In my life my country was properous of course, but my power was not in the riches we had but in the might I commanded and the great works I did to honor the gods and protect the people. Your question speaks to a clear understanding of what is required of a strong, sucessful ruler.
[A displeased look on his face.]

[relieable]

[a slight wince, and he leans back. this went south fast]

I was just asking. [a mumble, then he raises his voice. maybe a compliment will smooth this over] But, uh. Life moves fast today. You're doing really well learning about the modern world!

Realizing too late i forgot the "mis" on misunderstanding whoops

[dendera]

[He does, in fact, brighten up almost immediately.]

Ah, yes, I quite enjoy learning about modern things! Confounding as they often may be, they certainly provide many conveniences none could have dreamed of without magic, when I was alive!
[He's all jazzed on technology.]

[relieable]

[whew! maybe he's salvaged this meeting]

Well, if you need any help learning about more modern things, you can ask me too! I've gotten texting down to an art, an' I didn't even have a smartphone back where I come from.

[dendera]

[Oz considers him for a long, probably slightly intimidating moment.]
I will keep you in mind, however as it stands I already have Noiz to offer his expertise.

[A slight scoff.]
As it stands, you have not proven yourself as an expert in much of anything.

[relieable]

[ow]

You've only just met me. I could be an expert in so many things, an' you're just brushing me off.