text; @fromTV☂

[spellslots]

What's up, chucklefucks, it's me, Taako, everybody's favorite wizard here to beg, desperately, for you to entertain me for next eight fucking hours while I mess with this spell.

["This spell" being his transmutation stone that he needs to remake, but it takes eight hours to prepare and honestly, he's going to go crazy.]

I'll even help you out here but giving you a starting point or several, cause I'm just amazing like that.

First off, give ch'boy some movies to watch or music to listen to. Don't bother recommending Beyoncé I'm all over that already. I can't imagine any of you being interesting enough to keep me amused for eight hours so like, this is my back up plan.

The main plan is let's play a fucking game, I was gonna go with truth or dare but it's hard to police that shit on the network so we're doing two truths and a lie instead.

Ready?

1. I've been a professor
2. I turned a dude into a cat for cheating on me and never turned him back
3. One time I fucked up a spell and everything I drank tasted like key lime gogurt for six months

[[ooc: feel free to threadjack on this one if it gets interesting]]

Comments

[dothelokimotion]

Hm.

Number two then. A cat seems too nice.

[spellslots]

What would you have gone for? Something creepy crawly?

[dothelokimotion]

It's a classic.

[spellslots]

I thought frogs were classics.

[dothelokimotion]

Are they? I rather like frogs.

[spellslots]

It's a fairytale, prince gets turned into a frog by an evil witch or whatever, princess kisses the frog and restores him to his former glory.

[dothelokimotion]

Who in the right mind kisses a frog? No amount of love can be worth that.

[spellslots]

This is coming from you, of all people?

[dothelokimotion]

Horses are one thing. I don't see why I need to tolerate slime.

[spellslots]

I guess some girls are just like that

[dothelokimotion]

Anything for true love, I suppose.

[spellslots]

I mean, apparently I'm gonna bang a skeleton so I guess I can't say shit either

[dothelokimotion]

I still require proof of that.

private;

[spellslots]

[Guess who just realized he hasn't explained any of this to Magnus and doesn't want this convo public anymore?]

That it's possible to fuck a skeleton or that I'm like capable of a functional relationship?

[dothelokimotion]

[ Huh. ]

The former, obviously. I'm aware you're capable of the latter.

[spellslots]

Jury's still out on that one.

But he can put flesh and skin on, I'm not about to shove my dick into a pile of bones

[dothelokimotion]

See, now I feel my respect has dropped a little.

[spellslots]

Because I won't fuck a pile of bones?

[dothelokimotion]

Either you go all the way or quit.

[spellslots]

I'm drawing the line at necrophilia

[dothelokimotion]

Fine, but I am very disappointed.

[spellslots]

Are you trying to antagonize me into fucking some bones?

[dothelokimotion]

I would never.

[spellslots]

How would that even work? Unless you've got a pile of bones lying around

[dothelokimotion]

I could craft a decent illusion.

Or I could flay someone alive and take the bones. Whatever works.