text; @fromTV☂

[spellslots]

What's up, chucklefucks, it's me, Taako, everybody's favorite wizard here to beg, desperately, for you to entertain me for next eight fucking hours while I mess with this spell.

["This spell" being his transmutation stone that he needs to remake, but it takes eight hours to prepare and honestly, he's going to go crazy.]

I'll even help you out here but giving you a starting point or several, cause I'm just amazing like that.

First off, give ch'boy some movies to watch or music to listen to. Don't bother recommending Beyoncé I'm all over that already. I can't imagine any of you being interesting enough to keep me amused for eight hours so like, this is my back up plan.

The main plan is let's play a fucking game, I was gonna go with truth or dare but it's hard to police that shit on the network so we're doing two truths and a lie instead.

Ready?

1. I've been a professor
2. I turned a dude into a cat for cheating on me and never turned him back
3. One time I fucked up a spell and everything I drank tasted like key lime gogurt for six months

[[ooc: feel free to threadjack on this one if it gets interesting]]

Comments

[spellslots]

There's a movie about a dude who keep reliving that day until he gets it right.

Which is the exact kinda shit we dealt with except instead of getting laid or whatever that dude had to do, we had to like, make sure an entire town didn't get destroyed by a giant purple worm

[nostalgiabomb]

[ A bit of a pause as he rereads the response. Then, ]

A giant purple worm.

[ that... doesn't sound all that bad. ]

[spellslots]

Yup. It got split up from its babies and it was real mad about that shit. Lucky we got the whole family back together and it decided not to burn us all to a crisp

[nostalgiabomb]

Did it have fire powers? Or did it just have access to propellants and open flame

[spellslots]

It just breathes fire I guess? Kinda not normal for a purple worm in the reality I'm from but maybe that's one of those parallel universe things.

[nostalgiabomb]

... Huh.

You know, I fought this thing a little while ago. Giant, ugly thing with a bajillion teeth and too many tentacles. It, like, belched out flammable rainbows and jumped between dimensions.

Distant relative, you think?

[spellslots]

Could be? Shit tends to repeat between realities. Purple worms do have a fuckload of teeth, no tentacles though and fun fact: they're not a fan of them.

[nostalgiabomb]

I think it's a very specific type of person that's an actual a fan of tentacles.

1/2

[spellslots]

My future boyfriend, apparently.

[spellslots]

That's apparently on the boyfriend part, I know for sure that he's into tentacles

[nostalgiabomb]

This the same guy who may or may not be a cat?

Schrodinger's boyfriend?

[spellslots]

What's a schrodinger?

[nostalgiabomb]

... you know what I'm actually not sure.

Best guess is that he was some guy who wasn't a huge fan of cats.

[spellslots]

That's pretty understandable.

Anyway the cat one was the lie, I don't get cheated on.

[nostalgiabomb]

[ Peter scrolls back up to look at the list again. Then, ]

What's gogurt?

[spellslots]

Portable yogurt

[A very unhelpful answer, but also the truth.]

[nostalgiabomb]

I mean, yogurt already comes in little cups, doesn't it?

what's more portable than that

[spellslots]

A tube so you don't gotta fuck around with a spoon

[nostalgiabomb]

... huh. So like an Otter Pop. But yogurt.

[ A second or two as Peter considers this modern marvel. ]

Gross.

Mind if I ask what spell you screwed up?

[spellslots]

You can ask, for sure, but my answer isn't gonna all that interesting, I was just fucking around with transmutation magic.

[nostalgiabomb]

Okay, to be fair, any answer you give about magic is gonna be seriously rad, just by virtue of the fact that I've never seen anyone legitimately do magic.

I'm gonna hazard a guess that transmutation is turning one thing into another?

[spellslots]

Got it in one!

And I'm legitimately doing magic right the fuck now, it's just boring magic. I'm turning a rock into a magic rock.

[nostalgiabomb]

... like. are you adding googly eyes?

Because lemme tell you, Pet Rocks were already a thing back in the 70s, so you're getting to that craze a little late.

[spellslots]

Well I wasn't gonna but now I fucking am.

Anyway nah dude it's like a healing stone?
Takes eight hours to make but then I can use it to resurrect someone or cure them of shit.

[nostalgiabomb]

you can resurrect someone?