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video; un: sg.rogers

How do you go about picking gifts?

[ He's just going to dive right in. No real introduction, but Steve figures that most people won't care too much about who is asking this or why. ]

I'm sure a lot of you are better at this than I am, so I guess I need some advice. How do you find a good gift for someone that already has far more than you've seen for half your lifetime? Not that I'm aiming to impress anyone, but it'd be nice to pull it off.

[ He grins a little. Okay, so maybe he's trying. Just a little. But Steve is rarely the one that surprises anyone else. He just wants a chance at doing something cool for a change. Of course, he's realistic and knows this is unlikely, but he can try. ]

I'm in a little over my head on this one. Everyone else always has the flashy stuff covered.

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I recommend giving them the heads of their enemies on a platter. Always a nice, unique way to show you care.

[...Is he being serious? Definitely not, but it does play nicely into the "violent Viking" stereotype.]

[ He wishes he could tell if Ivar is being serious or not. He stares a moment, just absorbing that suggestion. Wow. ]

I... don't know his enemies personally. Unless I count myself, and I'm attached to my head.

Bah, you're boring.

[But since that's clearly not going to work, he becomes a touch more serious. Ivar's very introspective, which is actually a good quality to have for gift-giving.]

Why not get him something valuable and irreplaceable? That's always a nice surprise.

If I give him my head, then I won't be able to see his reaction to it.

[ Which is perfect logic, really. ]

Valuable and irreplaceable?

[ What is irreplaceable to Loki? He nods, turning that over in his mind. ]

That's a good point. I... guess I've been trying to give him one thing at least.

Minor detail.

[Ivar waves his hand like he's batting the words away. He nods approvingly.]

See? Now you're using your brain. Give something like that from the heart and he's sure to bed you.

[An added bonus in Ivar's book.]

[ And that gets Steve coughing in surprise, choking on his breath. ]

I wasn't trying to get him in bed.

[ He is now trying not to actually blush, though. ]

[Yeah, plausible deniability ain't working right here, Steve. Ivar's probably just as awkward around his crush as you are, he recognizes the signs.]

But you wouldn't say no if it lead to that, would you?

...I think we should just stick to gifts.

[He's going to die of embarrassment. That's how he goes. Shamed on the network.]

Once again, you're being boring. Listen to me and liven up your life a little bit.

[Seriously, the man has the body of Balder and the mind of an ancient Norn.]

Liven up my- I do things.

[ :c He goes on missions? ]

Sure, physically? But mentally? You're falling behind.

[Ivar's having too much fun messing with Steve. He hasn't had a chance to do this to someone in months.]

But back to the task at hand. Among Vikings, there's three big things you give when you love someone. Shirts, cheese, and jewelry.

[Why cheese? idk Vikings had some strange customs. He taps the arm rings he's wearing, one on each arm. One of them is clearly older than the other, tarnished after years of being worn by someone else. Those weren't a symbol of romantic love, rather familial love. The older one had been worn by his father, the only memento Ivar had left.]

Have you skills in one of these areas?

[ Wow, it's like being told he doesn't go to the gym enough. Which is an odd experience for Steve, because he's gotten used to being looked to as the experienced one, the veteran Avenger. Falling behind? He clearly needs to step up his game, then! ]

So I need to be more creative.

[ It's dealing with Loki, so that makes a lot of sense. ]

I... actually don't have much experience in any of those areas, but I can learn. If that's what I need to do, I don't mind getting lessons.

[ Picking up skills and improvising are foundations of what he does anyway. Can't win battles with aliens if you aren't willing to step out of the box somewhat, right? ]

Are there traditions for those gifts I should know about?

Well, the cheese and shirts comes when what you need meets what you want. Food and warm clothing are necessities when you live in as hard a place as Norway. It's showing you care enough about someone to want them to survive.

[Now they're getting somewhere. Ivar would pay big money to see the Avenger sewing a shirt or mixing rennet into milk to coagulate the cheese.]

Jewelry usually has a whole host of meanings behind it. Arm rings imply a bond that will never be broken, since you get them when you come of age. We swear oaths on them. Rings are for those eternally faithful, but I wouldn't recommend those unless you're proposing marriage. Necklaces-- [He pauses here, fiddling around with one that he's got on. For someone with as tough a reputation as the Viking, he wears quite a few pieces of jewelry.] --They tend to symbolize closeness with the gods. The one I wear has Yggdrasil the world tree on it.

That's pretty practical. I think the closest I've come is mending holes.

[ That would certainly be an interesting project. ]

Mm. [ Now he's thinking. What Ivar is saying has a lot of promise. ] Does everyone know how to do things like that? You ever make those kinds of things for others?

[ Because he certainly does have a good point. And Loki did mention jewelry. That must mean it had some appeal to him. ]

See, it'll be good for you to learn a peasant job.

[Also, yes, Steve is officially a peasant.]

Making jewelry isn't really that different than making weapons. It's just manipulating metal on a smaller scale. You'll need a forge, but after that, it's a lot of beating metal with a hammer.

[As for the question about making them for others, all Steve gets is a scowl.]

That's none of your business.

[Ivar had never had occasion to put any skills he might have possessed to use. He was petrified of giving any indication to his crushes that, y'know, he actually liked them. Feelings were hard for a young psychopath.]

A peasant job. Right.

[ Well, that does sound like Loki. That might mean Ivar's suggestions will appeal more to him? At least, that is the logic Steve has. And apparently he also hit a soft spot with the Viking. That makes him pause. ]

I meant could you show me? Since you know about those things.

Exactly. Peasant jobs.

[Making cheese and sewing shirts were rather tedious ventures when one got down to it.]

I might. Do we even have a proper forge somewhere in this city?

[He's assuming so considering that weapons have to be made somewhere.]

I think I can handle that. I don't mind work.

[He's not sure how he likes being called a peasant, but that's probably not going to change.]

I'm sure we can find one. There are plenty of people that use weapons and armor in town, so one of them must use a forge.

Good. Find me one and I will show you how to create something that your paramour will love.

[Then his smirk turns impish.]

I suggest telling them you wish to see them wearing it and nothing else when you give it to them.

[Alright, now he's just being a little troll. Someone stop him.]

[ And that sly answer throws Steve into a surprised coughing fit. The gift he had in mind was definitely not going to be covering, and he can imagine Loki getting smug and shamelessly displaying himself just to mortify him. ]

I don't want to give him any ideas!

[ And he's blushing now as if he's anticipating his own embarrassment. ]

[Yup, that worked exactly like Ivar thought it was going to. He can't help the laughter that bubbles up.]

Well, generally a gift of this nature doesn't suggest you only want to hold hands.

[Really, Steve, having the sensibilities of an old maid is not doing you any favors. Become more free-spirited like the Viking!]

[Ivar can see the way Steve huff in his response. The short, heavy breathes that indicate he's trying and failing to hide his embarrassment and brush off the heat on his face.]

I didn't say that. And there's nothing wrong with holding hands.

[He knows it's a bad idea to say that, but his stubborn urge to be contrary kicks in and he has to argue in favor of holding hands even if Ivar is right. It's a matter of pride.]

...You really think we can impress him?

You know, I'm half-convinced right now you might be a virgin.

[Not really, but he's pulling out all the stops when it comes to teasing Steve. He momentarily sobers up when he asks about the gift. He knows very well the anxiety that comes from trying to impress a crush.]

There's only one way to find out, right? Besides, it's not entirely the jewelry that shall impress him. It's the hands that will be making it.

[ Steve frowns when Ivar accuses him of being a virgin. Part of him wants to speak up and ask what the problem with that would be, but then he'd be sending the wrong message and even Steve realizes how messy that is. He opens his mouth, aborts the line he wants to say, and sighs instead. ]

Maybe I just don't like talking about it. There could be kids listening to us.

[ Well, that doesn't make it any better. Damn it. But living up to the popular image beats trying and failing to subvert it with falsehoods, so Steve has to live with his choices. ]

Hm. That means I'm going to have to trust my teacher to show me how to do a good job. I don't want my gift to misrepresent what I'm capable of.

Please, kids can learn all they need to know just from watching a farmyard full of animals for a few hours.

[Was it any wonder Vikings had such a cavalier attitude towards sex when they were exposed to the wonders of nature from such an early age?]

You'll do fine. The good thing about metal is that if it turns out horrible, you just melt it back down, and start again. Much better than working with something like wood.

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