Video; 1-800-MURDERS

[ragnarsson]

[The video starts off with some cheesy infomercial music, the kind usually found on a device that will cut your hair better or replace all your kitchen devices with one. The narrator, one Jamie Dodger, accompanies a series of drawings.]

Has this ever happened to you?

[A piece of paper is held in front of the camera, showing a crude drawing of someone being violently stabbed to death. Or maybe it's a plate of spaghetti; regardless of which of them drew it, the truth is that their art skills are crap.]

Well, with the help of this eight-step training process, it won't have to. [Dodger's voice lacks every ounce of enthusiasm these infomercials are known for, which is probably why his own video back in the day had been text-only.] Just follow your instructor's guidance and one day you could look like this.

[And again, this drawing is either... someone standing over a pile of corpses, or maybe just a sack of potatoes and some of them have faces? Who knows.]

Time to meet your instructor - Phil Swift himself.

[The video pans over to Ivar, who has the usual somewhat grumpy expression on his face. It’s clear he doesn’t really get this whole idea, but he’s been talked into it. He’ll humor everyone...for now.]

Say something.

Like what?

Sell the product. [Dodger turns the music off with a frustrated huff.] We're not shooting another take.

Fine. [Ivar gives the camera only the most dramatic of all eyerolls.] You all are idiots. I don't care if you have powers, powers don't stop a knife stabbed in your throat. I will teach you to stab people before they stab you. [He looks off to the side of the camera.] Was that good?

...Sure.

[There's an awkward pause here as the boys stare each other down with silent and mutual distaste, before Dodger switches the music back on and resumes his narration.]]

With our teachings you'll be able to stab unaware enemies - [Ivar slices his axe across a dummy's back that they had set up] - slice moving targets - [Dodger throws a pillow from off-screen, and Ivar catches it with his axe and slams it down into the floor] - and even counter fireballs, all from the comfort of your broken leg throne.

[There's another long moment of silence, as Ivar slowly looks up with a cold fire in his eyes.]

And now, ladies and gentleman, for the finale, you get to see a live demonstration. [He yanks his axe back out and there’s a psychotic grin on his face.] Start running, Dodger.

[The video concludes with the device that music is coming from knocking over and warping the sound of the tune with an eerie lilt, and cuts out with a flash of sparks and a loud pop as Dodger dodges an incoming throwing axe.]

[OOC: Know that there will be a lot of threadjacking going on in this post. Dodger and he are horrible human beings.]

Comments

[jelmazmo]

For Vikings, or for people, would you say? For a time, I lived among the Dothraki; horse lords. Once, they'd united together beneath one banner and laid waste to so much of Essos that the cities still offered them tribute whenever a khalasar approached. But once there was nothing left to conquer, the khalasars went their separate ways.

No longer a single herd. They fought and squabbled amongst one-another and squandered what greatness they had among weak, stupid leaders. I can understand why your people are the way they are, but by the same token, at some point people have to live.

( She's not really lecturing him at all; she, herself is a conqueror. But as she's recently seen, sometimes there are much more important things in life. )

So long as your people and theirs work together in such an arrangement, there would seem an element of sense to it. The leader of my mercenary company was left for all intents and purposes a king in his own right.

I wonder, what is your price?

[ragnarsson]

These people you lived among sound like people I would get along with. But I understand. A clan is only worth what their leaders will make of it.

[Ivar and his brothers had proven they were truly sons of their father by forming the largest army ever seen to avenge his death.

At her question, he smiles just a little.]

Something that has no value here and therefore can't be used against me.

[jelmazmo]

Indeed. Their leader must have a mount worthy of their status among them, and I lead them all. A pity that my dragons were kept apart from me by whomever operates the gate here.

( She gives him a long, measured look and finally inclines her head. )

Good. Do you trust those who've brought us here?

[ragnarsson]

You have dragons? Did they come through the portal with you?

[He sounds excited by the possibility. She's not the first he's met here with a dragon, but it's still cool nonetheless.]

To an extent. They clearly still need us or we would have been killed by now. As to what that purpose is, that is where I have trouble trusting them.

[jelmazmo]

Two, but they didn't arrive with me. I was aboard a ship that morning.

( She pauses, and then amends, steel and resolve tightly wound in her voice: ) I will see them returned to me.

So we are needed in this city that the natives haven't left, for some reason or other. With all that territory out there, uninhabited. There is something more than a little strange about that.

( Her desire to hold loyalty only to Jon and to herself has been justified; good. )

[ragnarsson]

Maybe they'll come through the portal eventually. The most random things often do. I'd love to see another dragon.

[Toothless had been just about the coolest thing he'd ever seen, so Ivar was eager to see another.]

A little bit, but no one's been able to determine what they want us for more than taking back parts of the abandoned city and keeping the monsters out of the part already inhabited.

[jelmazmo]

Best they do; no other would be able to keep them in check. Ah, yes. The black one at the feast? I saw him, too. My Drogon is black, too, but much larger.

( That is to say that merely looking at Toothless puts her own dragon to mind. She'll never admit it, but it brings pain as much as joy to see one in this world and have it not be her own. )

So our purpose here is to do that which the natives seem either unwilling or unable to do. I'm not interested in that. Are you?

( She wants her own territory, to have her own purpose. Not to have both decided for her. )

[ragnarsson]

Do you ride them?

[Clearly asking only the most important questions here.]

I've carved out a life for myself here over the time I've been here.

[Which is not precisely an answer to her question, but Ivar has no good response. Has he grown complacent without realizing it? He wonders.]

[jelmazmo]

The largest of them, yes. Each of them only bonds with one rider at a time.

( Or so Viserys had claimed in his stories. Given how Drogon seems so attuned to her emotional state, she wouldn't be surprised if that were in fact the truth. )

So far as seems to be permitted. I'm surprised that by now the perimeter hasn't been pushed forward, and more territory occupied.

( Why leave it to the monsters? A question begging to be answered; and asked, too, apparently. )

[ragnarsson]

I saw the memory of my friend Hiccup riding his dragon once. It was one of the best experiences of my life.

[For a memory that wasn't even his own, Ivar cherished it.]

To push the perimeter forward, we need to move the fence. To move the fence, we need to people to move materials to build it up. To build it up, we need people to watch those building it to protect them from monsters. That's not to mention trying to reclaim both forest and parts of the abandoned city as we do so.

[Ivar had been a strategist in the war back home. He saw the big picture and how to get there. He also knew how long it would take and how many people that would require. Right now, there wasn't enough of them or the motivation required to do it.]

[jelmazmo]

There truly is no greater feeling of freedom in this or any world than to fly upon the back of a dragon.

( It's odd how when there's room to doubt so much else, something in his eyes makes her believe this completely. However this act of sharing memories was accomplished, he understands. )

Does any of that factor those native to this place, as well? I cannot imagine that they choose to be contained, penned like animals of their own volition. Were my dragons here, they would suffice in aiding to protect the people and clearing the region of any game.

Alas, they aren't. But I don't think their absence means we shouldn't do something. I refuse to be made to serve in a world which has stolen me from nearly everything I hold dear, as well as you and all the rest of those in our situation.

[ragnarsson]

I'd like to experience it again someday.

[Hiccup had promised his friend that he would rig his saddle up so the two of them could fly on Toothless. Ivar wasn't sure if he was thrilled or terrified by the prospect. He had issues with his feet leaving the ground.]

From what I have been told, the natives here think on a smaller scale because of the failure when they thought big. There was some great war that destroyed much. After that, it is no surprise that they might be wary of trying to push forward too fast again.

It is up to you whether or not you want to get involved, Your Highness. But don't be surprised if things pass you by if you don't.

[jelmazmo]

You haven't yet, outside of that memory?

( Ivar has no idea what he's missing, honestly. )

My House were once a minor family of dragonlords in the freehold of Old Valyria. One day, an ancestress of mine had a dream; a vision, of a great cataclysm that would rend the empire into pieces. Her father believed her, and he took his entire household, along with their dragons west to an island now called Dragonstone. The Doom came sometime later, and my family and but a handful of others survived. One does not survive nor prosper by thinking small.

Involved in—what? What are those like us doing here, exactly? Beyond assigned occupations.

[ragnarsson]

No. It's a bit difficult for me to ride any sort of animal.

[That required being able to cling to the animal in question with his leg muscles and his own were too weak to so with any sort of efficiency. Hiccup had said he would modify the saddle to get around that problem.]

Perhaps your destiny here is to get them to think bigger.

People here are carving out lives for themselves. Not everyone is so keen to return home. Some are dead where they are from or come from horrible circumstances they have no wish to return to.

[jelmazmo]

Difficult, maybe. But not impossible, I'm sure.

( If life might be borne from stone, this boy might ride any animal he may choose with the right equipment. It's common sense, in her mind. )

It very well may be, though I choose my own course.

I can understand why, in a sense: we will face a horded of dead men led by an abomination should we return to Westeros. But there must be more than these assigned tasks to do in this world.

[ragnarsson]

There's not much that's impossible for me. I just have to find a different way.

[It also required finding a way that wouldn't leave him in more pain than he was already in. That was always a big factor.]

Then I leave it up to you to figure out what precisely that should be, Your Highness. As for me, I already have more than enough to do.