Ivar "The Boneless" Ragnarsson (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ragnarsson) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
riverview2017-11-16 06:57 pm
ragnarsson) wrote in riverview2017-11-16 06:57 pm
Entry tags:
- magnificent seven: billy rocks,
- marvel (616): steve rogers,
- original: shigeru miyata,
- star wars: rey,
- ✖ bssm (manga): sailor galaxia,
- ✖ chb chronicles: nico di angelo,
- ✖ game of thrones: daenerys targaryen,
- ✖ game of thrones: jon snow,
- ✖ gravity rush: raven,
- ✖ original: jamie dodger,
- ✖ osomatsu-san: osomatsu matsuno,
- ✖ overwatch: hana song,
- ✖ the covenant: chase collins,
- ✖ vikings: ivar ragnarsson
Video; 1-800-MURDERS
[The video starts off with some cheesy infomercial music, the kind usually found on a device that will cut your hair better or replace all your kitchen devices with one. The narrator, one Jamie Dodger, accompanies a series of drawings.]
Has this ever happened to you?
[A piece of paper is held in front of the camera, showing a crude drawing of someone being violently stabbed to death. Or maybe it's a plate of spaghetti; regardless of which of them drew it, the truth is that their art skills are crap.]
Well, with the help of this eight-step training process, it won't have to. [Dodger's voice lacks every ounce of enthusiasm these infomercials are known for, which is probably why his own video back in the day had been text-only.] Just follow your instructor's guidance and one day you could look like this.
[And again, this drawing is either... someone standing over a pile of corpses, or maybe just a sack of potatoes and some of them have faces? Who knows.]
Time to meet your instructor - Phil Swift himself.
[The video pans over to Ivar, who has the usual somewhat grumpy expression on his face. It’s clear he doesn’t really get this whole idea, but he’s been talked into it. He’ll humor everyone...for now.]
Say something.
Like what?
Sell the product. [Dodger turns the music off with a frustrated huff.] We're not shooting another take.
Fine. [Ivar gives the camera only the most dramatic of all eyerolls.] You all are idiots. I don't care if you have powers, powers don't stop a knife stabbed in your throat. I will teach you to stab people before they stab you. [He looks off to the side of the camera.] Was that good?
...Sure.
[There's an awkward pause here as the boys stare each other down with silent and mutual distaste, before Dodger switches the music back on and resumes his narration.]]
With our teachings you'll be able to stab unaware enemies - [Ivar slices his axe across a dummy's back that they had set up] - slice moving targets - [Dodger throws a pillow from off-screen, and Ivar catches it with his axe and slams it down into the floor] - and even counter fireballs, all from the comfort of your broken leg throne.
[There's another long moment of silence, as Ivar slowly looks up with a cold fire in his eyes.]
And now, ladies and gentleman, for the finale, you get to see a live demonstration. [He yanks his axe back out and there’s a psychotic grin on his face.] Start running, Dodger.
[The video concludes with the device that music is coming from knocking over and warping the sound of the tune with an eerie lilt, and cuts out with a flash of sparks and a loud pop as Dodger dodges an incoming throwing axe.]
[OOC: Know that there will be a lot of threadjacking going on in this post. Dodger and he are horrible human beings.]
Has this ever happened to you?
[A piece of paper is held in front of the camera, showing a crude drawing of someone being violently stabbed to death. Or maybe it's a plate of spaghetti; regardless of which of them drew it, the truth is that their art skills are crap.]
Well, with the help of this eight-step training process, it won't have to. [Dodger's voice lacks every ounce of enthusiasm these infomercials are known for, which is probably why his own video back in the day had been text-only.] Just follow your instructor's guidance and one day you could look like this.
[And again, this drawing is either... someone standing over a pile of corpses, or maybe just a sack of potatoes and some of them have faces? Who knows.]
Time to meet your instructor - Phil Swift himself.
[The video pans over to Ivar, who has the usual somewhat grumpy expression on his face. It’s clear he doesn’t really get this whole idea, but he’s been talked into it. He’ll humor everyone...for now.]
Say something.
Like what?
Sell the product. [Dodger turns the music off with a frustrated huff.] We're not shooting another take.
Fine. [Ivar gives the camera only the most dramatic of all eyerolls.] You all are idiots. I don't care if you have powers, powers don't stop a knife stabbed in your throat. I will teach you to stab people before they stab you. [He looks off to the side of the camera.] Was that good?
...Sure.
[There's an awkward pause here as the boys stare each other down with silent and mutual distaste, before Dodger switches the music back on and resumes his narration.]]
With our teachings you'll be able to stab unaware enemies - [Ivar slices his axe across a dummy's back that they had set up] - slice moving targets - [Dodger throws a pillow from off-screen, and Ivar catches it with his axe and slams it down into the floor] - and even counter fireballs, all from the comfort of your broken leg throne.
[There's another long moment of silence, as Ivar slowly looks up with a cold fire in his eyes.]
And now, ladies and gentleman, for the finale, you get to see a live demonstration. [He yanks his axe back out and there’s a psychotic grin on his face.] Start running, Dodger.
[The video concludes with the device that music is coming from knocking over and warping the sound of the tune with an eerie lilt, and cuts out with a flash of sparks and a loud pop as Dodger dodges an incoming throwing axe.]
[OOC: Know that there will be a lot of threadjacking going on in this post. Dodger and he are horrible human beings.]
no subject
[Her voice is soft then, having come to terms with that fact after so many years of denying it. She doesn't remember much of them, the feelings she had for them, maybe their voices...but it's hard to imagine what they looked like.]
I do miss them, but they're gone. I know that.
no subject
[Again, he has to put into words how he feels, or it doesn't quite register as being real to him. He wonders how badly it would have hurt if Ragnar had never come back home. Would it have been better or worse?]
But there is the family you come from by blood and the family you make. Perhaps you can find some of the second here.
no subject
I found something close to that, back on my world. But, I'm not looking to make a family. If--no, when I find a way out, it'll make it harder to leave. [She wouldn't put someone through what she went through...
But, ha it's too late. She' smade a family here out of the friends she's made--Ivar included.]
no subject
[That's it, just plain words without any sarcasm or anger behind them. Ivar has lost too many people both in his home world and here in Riverview to ever be alright with losing another. He cares about Rey, much as it galls him, and he'd at least like to be able to have some closure if she someday she does leave him.]
no subject
[Rey's a bit shocked that he thought she wouldn't say such a thing to him. Yes, she was eager to leave, to find a way back home because of her own personal reasons...but did he think she wouldn't do the right thing and say farewell? He was a friend...why wouldn't she want to see him one last time?]
no subject
[He looks about as sad as sad can be as he says this. Does one ever truly get over their first heartbreak? Three months later and sometimes the pain felt exactly like it had the first morning he'd woken up to discover Letha gone.]
no subject
I wouldn’t do that to someone else.
[ Translation....it’s been done to her. She wouldn’t do that to anyone else. ]
no subject
[When Ivar does eventually end up going home, he plans on making sure to tell everyone he cares about that he's going. A sad form of closure is better than none at all.]