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Entry tags:
- marvel (mcu): gamora,
- star trek (aos): james kirk,
- star wars: finn,
- star wars: poe dameron,
- ✖ ffxiii: lightning farron,
- ✖ game of thrones: daenerys targaryen,
- ✖ gundam 00: lyle dylandy,
- ✖ marvel (mcu): sif,
- ✖ marvel (mcu): valkyrie,
- ✖ marvel (tv): karen page,
- ✖ once upon a time: emma swan,
- ✖ shadowhunter chronicles: alec lightwoo
[ audio / image ] un: wingingit
[ It starts with a blank screen and cheerful booping that anyone who has met BB-8 will recognize, with muffled conversation in the background.
BB-8 is working on something. The screen flickers from blackness to brief color, goes dark again, then abruptly displays the following image: ]
[ Yes, it is Poe Dameron, standing nobly above a motif of X-wings, over the word "RESISTANCE" and below the words "WATCHING OVER THE SKIES AND STARS."
The background conversation stops. Poe's voice comes through clearly: ] Bee, what are you--BB-8, take that down right now.
[ Annnnnd the image vanishes. ]
BB-8 is working on something. The screen flickers from blackness to brief color, goes dark again, then abruptly displays the following image: ]
[ Yes, it is Poe Dameron, standing nobly above a motif of X-wings, over the word "RESISTANCE" and below the words "WATCHING OVER THE SKIES AND STARS."
The background conversation stops. Poe's voice comes through clearly: ] Bee, what are you--BB-8, take that down right now.
[ Annnnnd the image vanishes. ]
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[ Finn, suspicious by nature, can't help thinking along the lines of are recruitment posters not a huge target on your back if you're the one on them or?
I kind of wish he was actually eating popcorn right now in reality just for the aesthetic, honestly. ]
Get a lot of circulation? If it helps, I never heard a thing about it.
[ He obviously had his stormtrooper-gloved fingers in a lot of rebel activity pies as a cadet. Obviously. (There's only so many ways to bring your sympathy to the table when part of you is reveling in the unfolding of this tale, okay.) ]
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More circulation than it should have. Leia--the General benched me from running anything remotely undercover after that, but I sort of had a price on my head by then anyway.
[ No Big Deal. ]
...It did get us some interested recruits. [ SAID AS A DEEPLY GRUDGING ADMISSION. ]
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What he's really gathering here is that armies who recruit their soldiers are wild. This is the most fascinating stuff. ]
Tell me you got hard numbers on how many.
[ Vaguely skeptical: Poe's not even smiling in that poster, how much of a dent could it possibly make. ]
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Besides, that wasn't my division.
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I'd like to think that counting is part of every division even for the Resistance, Poe.
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[ RUDE FINN. ]
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I'm not the one who said it's not my division. [ ok but your brain that thought that for a second finn, sarcasm or no. ] Is recruitment its own division? I just pictured you all-- pitching in, or something.
[ Hopefully his voice conveys that there was another vague-ass gesture at "pitching in". HE'S TAKING THIS LEARNING OPPORTUNITY, BECAUSE HE'S A NERD. ]
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[ HE TOO SHRUGS. ] I know rough numbers-- [ it's impossible not to know, with how small the Resistance is ] --but beyond duty rosters and training, it's not my responsibility.
[ Watch me bullshit now you see the steaming pile now you don't ]
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[ He came to this post to have a good time and now he's just fascinated by the workings of a low-budget ragtag army. There's more than enough nerd to go around in this world. ]
You should tell me about it sometime. The whole-- [ Why even make hand gestures right now Finn you're on audio. ] I don't know, your setup. Your people. I didn't make too many introductions.
[ it was a wild time and then we all went to blow up a superweapon. Finn has to at least admit the Resistance has a lot more color and a lot more individuality going for it. Joining or not, it was worth seeing an army that does unity without the all-encompassing conformity. ]
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[ Poe is undeniably enthusiastic about the prospect. ] We'll get you familiar once we're back. Snap and Jess for starters, but you'd like Lieutenant Connix. C'ai is great, and then there's Yolo and Tallie and Paige--we'll get you settled in no time.
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But to hell with it, he's ignoring that dilemma without skipping a beat, because that's what he's done since he got here. Bottle it up and try to forget about it. The new and more important dilemma: everyone in the Resistance is an actual real person who has their own name and life story, and even if some of those intersect they will, in fact, all still be different.
And that's the case pretty much across the span of most of everything, including the people on this moon? They're all just out there. Running around. Intersecting without matching. What the fuck, how does he not lose half of his days realizing how big the galaxy is. ]
Sounds like I'll be lucky I'm good with names.
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He's already told half the people he named about how Finn saved him, if not from what, exactly. The rumors about him on-base have spread like wildfire. That a stormtrooper could renounce the First Order--it's a beacon, a small flame of possibility, a banner to be raised in honor of their mission. Hope lives, even in the darkest places. Hope leads the way.
Finn is a hero, to Poe's mind, and to the minds of many in the Resistance. He's the kind of person that they need. ]
You'll be learning a lot of them. There's quite a few people who want to meet you.
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That sounds like a lot of people with Expectations.
One Fear. ]
They what?
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[ A little teasing, a little proud. ]
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Finn knows for a fact he had some of this talk with Poe. That it wasn't about a cause or the greater good or anything, and the whole part where he was just trying to get away, and Poe got that, he's positive on that much. Poe pushed back with acceptance and "it's not always about the fate of the galaxy", the whole spiel. He guesses he thought he was a lot more clear on the heroism thing. The "I had to save Rey" thing. Maybe he wasn't. It was a pretty tense situation.
what can he possibly do to fix th- he's gonna argue about it literally what else. ]
Okay, first off, I'm not one, so we're already running into some big problems with this situation, Poe!
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Still, there's a note of sympathy in Poe's voice as he says: ] Pretty sure heroes don't sit down in the morning and go, 'yeah, I'm going to help save the galaxy today'. I don't think you really get to pick when or why people think of you that way.
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This is not a label he can live up to, and he knows that with every bit of certainty he has to spare. It's not one he ever planned to try to live up to. He lived up to things his entire life, and that didn't exactly pan out for him. He never should have asked about Poe's people, this has gone horribly wrong. ]
I'm already barely a person! What am I supposed to do with people who expect anything else out of me?
[ POE DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND, WHAT IF YOUR FRIENDS DON'T LIKE ME. WHAT IF I LET YOU AND/OR REY DOWN BY PROXY. THIS IS VITAL. ]
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Quietly: ] Where are you?
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That was not something that should have ever made it through the filter. He filters for a reason, he's always been a good filterer. Finn sharply reels himself back in, in the way only the fight or flight lifestyle can allow.
Mistakes.... have been made. ]
The part of town where I don't wanna talk about it.
[ u really razzed poe there finn. But you also kind of live with him so uhhh, what's the long-term solution here, realistically. ]
I wasn't thinking. Now I'm thinking.
private;
[ He wants to talk about it. He wants to help fix it. At the very least he wants to hug Finn until one or both of them feels better. ]
private -> action
[ Firm. Insistent. That's his only door. That's the only excuse he can try to bring to bear, flat like he's putting up a token argument against an official reprimand, even though he's the only one he's in trouble with here. Even though the truth is that he's always thinking, and he knows it, and he hates excuses.
He can't come up with anything else to say. It's hard to fit words around his hard-edged anger over saying anything at all.
Finn disconnects, because at this point he might as well go ahead and run away, too.
Of course, the inherent problem with that decision is that Finn can't and won't actually stay gone. He comes back to the room. Puts things off for a while, maybe. Runs some laps. Does some target practice. Stops by a grocery store. The escapism factor isn't great because he's wearing the jacket that Poe gave him, and it's hard to not see a jacket that's constantly on his person. He spends time trying very hard to keep a lid on everything excess that starts to come out. He spends time trying very hard to not be thinking. It doesn't work.
But he doesn't stay gone.
They're on the same team. They're all in this together. It would take a lot worse than him being himself to change that, and he knows that, too. ]
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I'm already barely a person.
(I'm gonna call you Finn. Is that all right?
Finn. Yeah! Finn! I like that!)
The moment BB-8 alerts him, he's getting to his feet. He's half-way to the door as it opens, and then all the way there by the time Finn steps inside. Poe drags him into a hug without a word. ]
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He's surprised, but not too surprised to automatically bring his arms up to return it.
Hoping to avoid this encounter long enough to completely write off the other encounter was, perhaps, more of a fool's errand than anything. It was worth trying. Poe's got enough to deal with, he didn't-- he should have done better. ]
I'm sorry.
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[ He tightens the hug, closing his eyes. ] I am. You want to talk about not thinking.
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meanwhile in Softer Emotions
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