@det.prettyboy; text

[causational]

Hey everyone! I don't post on here super often, but I've been laid up for a week now and I'm going a little crazy. Total cabin fever.

I used to see forums like this on the internet back home, and I thought it might be kind of fun here too, so I thought I'd give it a try, because reading those forums was always a lot of fun.

So, Crowd-Sourced Relationship Advice!

I turned on anonymous posting on here, so you can make a fake username and submit a description of a problem that you're having in your relationships, either romantic or at work or whatever, and other anonymous people can give you advice!

Or you can stay logged in on your real account. Up to you!

Comments

[bastardofipswich]

buy me a drink? ;)

[ MORE ANGLING FOR BOOZE THAN FLIRTING. Look, he's not used to actually being legal drinking age someplace. ]

[deploy]

How old are you?

[bastardofipswich]

old enough!

[deploy]

That's super convincing.

[bastardofipswich]

i can vote and everything

[deploy]

No offense kid, but I'm not exactly into the idea of drinking with a teenager.

First off, kinda weird. Second, wouldn't you rather hang out with someone your own age?

[bastardofipswich]

nah people my age are dumb
tbh i just wanted some free booze. NOT creepy stuff

[deploy]

You should think a little harder about that before accepting drinks from strangers on the internet.

I could be anyone. What if I was creepy?

C'mon, kid. Stranger danger!

[bastardofipswich]

i had a plan! i can take ANY creep on

[deploy]

Uh huh.

Ever heard the saying better safe than sorry?

[bastardofipswich]

no what does that mean????

[deploy]

It means stop taking pointless risks and smarten the hell up if you want to live long enough to hate yourself.

[bastardofipswich]

please
i've already died once before and i'm fine!

[deploy]

[This is definitely Chase. How many dead, mouthy eighteen-year-olds can there be in Riverview?]

Sure. Where you're from.

You can actually die here.

I hope you knew that.

[bastardofipswich]

[ There are dozens of us! DOZENS! ]

i KNOW
jeez

[ For all his flippancy... Chase is definitely acutely aware of the reality that he could die again and stay dead. IT KIND OF HAUNTS HIM, but hey, that just means he gets to mask it in sarcasm. ]

[deploy]

You should be carrying a tazer.

Do you have one?

[bastardofipswich]

i've got something better than a tazer

[deploy]

Well don't tell me what it is.

Just keep it in your pocket, and only use it if you have to.

There's no better weapon than the element of surprise.

[bastardofipswich]

good advice
thanks anonymous dad

[deploy]

You're welcome.

And while we're at it? Practice safe sex.

Wear a helmet.

[bastardofipswich]

ok well now you made it embarrassing

[deploy]

Isn't that what dads do?

[bastardofipswich]

so i hear!
my old man never so much as gave me The Talk

probably for the best though
i doubt he knew anything about gay sex

[deploy]

So you're dead AND gay?

Kid you've had a rough go of it.