DO NOT BUY FURNITURE FROM QUARANTINE CRAIGSLIST!!!! (un: j.calhoun)

[bardish]

WARNING DO NOT BUY USED FURNITURE OFF THE NETWORK!! Some of the sellers here are VERY unscrupulous! I am now the proud owner of:

- 1 cursed endtable (IT KEEPS INSULTING MY MOTHER WHEN I'M TRYING TO SLEEP??)

- 1 set of drawers that was housing a colony of space termites

- 1 mattress that is stained with either blood or cranberry juice or chocolate i'm not sure which. maybe all 3? now i have to sleep on a futon like i'm 19 yrs old again and it's KILLING my back

Anyway is anyone in the market for some gently used furniture?

[ jk jk he's not a big enough to dick to unload this NIGHTMARE FURNITURE onto anybody else. ]

Comments

[bardish]

My last sketchy used mattress had a very good run actually

[ Not everyone can buy brand new mattresses like they're a Rockefeller or something! Granted, the last time he bought a sketchy used mattress, he was like, 20 and had no standards. ]

but I guess next time i'll refine my search to "mattresses not used in any murders or human sacrifices"

[alfa]

[ There are cheap mattresses!!! Or make your own, you know. Better than nothing. (He wouldn't know, his trailers came with cheap mattresses included.) ]

Or food play gone wrong. Just in case.

I don't really think you'll have much luck selling those. Unless you run into an insect enthusiast. They'd probably love a termite-infested drawer set.

1/3

[bardish]

No wait that's a GREAT idea! i just need to find an entomologist

[bardish]

I'VE GOT IT!! WHERE'S DR GOODSIR?

3/3

[bardish]

...sorry I just got really excited and it now occurs to me that you might have no idea who i'm talking about

[alfa]

You're right, I have no idea. But you know what, if that helped, then good for you. You're welcome?

[bardish]

it did help. Thanks!

[alfa]

Don't mention it.