DO NOT BUY FURNITURE FROM QUARANTINE CRAIGSLIST!!!! (un: j.calhoun)

[bardish]

WARNING DO NOT BUY USED FURNITURE OFF THE NETWORK!! Some of the sellers here are VERY unscrupulous! I am now the proud owner of:

- 1 cursed endtable (IT KEEPS INSULTING MY MOTHER WHEN I'M TRYING TO SLEEP??)

- 1 set of drawers that was housing a colony of space termites

- 1 mattress that is stained with either blood or cranberry juice or chocolate i'm not sure which. maybe all 3? now i have to sleep on a futon like i'm 19 yrs old again and it's KILLING my back

Anyway is anyone in the market for some gently used furniture?

[ jk jk he's not a big enough to dick to unload this NIGHTMARE FURNITURE onto anybody else. ]

Comments

[talentedscavenger]

...You shouldn't just "take someone's word for it." Especially on the thing you'll be sleeping on.

Do you at least remember the guy and where he lived? Maybe you could take it back.

[bardish]

Something tells me the probable serial killer gave me a fake address

[talentedscavenger]

Did you meet with him alone?

I'm hoping that answer is no.

[bardish]

oh yeah I did. but clearly i'm fine! I mean i have a seriously gross mattress now, but i'm fine

[talentedscavenger]

No, I mean if you had someone with you, you had a witness and could report them.

Or, had someone else help you find them and return the mattress.

Why did you buy a used one anyway?

[bardish]

[ Jeff is about to give the same answer he's given the others, but now HE HAS TO WONDER: ]

why is the concept of used furniture so weird to people here?

[talentedscavenger]

[...Well he's going to get a different answer out of her.]

It's not a weird concept--not to me. Getting used furniture and making it your own is one thing.

Getting a used mattress and wonder if you're sleeping on blood or cranberry juice is another.

[bardish]

Well you do have a point there. but in my defense most used mattresses don't come with blood OR cranberry juice

[talentedscavenger]

Then, we're back at my original point: why did you buy a mattress with those stains?!

[bardish]

I'm pretty sure i already answered that question

besides
I didn't want to inconvenience him by asking too many questions