DO NOT BUY FURNITURE FROM QUARANTINE CRAIGSLIST!!!! (un: j.calhoun)

[bardish]

WARNING DO NOT BUY USED FURNITURE OFF THE NETWORK!! Some of the sellers here are VERY unscrupulous! I am now the proud owner of:

- 1 cursed endtable (IT KEEPS INSULTING MY MOTHER WHEN I'M TRYING TO SLEEP??)

- 1 set of drawers that was housing a colony of space termites

- 1 mattress that is stained with either blood or cranberry juice or chocolate i'm not sure which. maybe all 3? now i have to sleep on a futon like i'm 19 yrs old again and it's KILLING my back

Anyway is anyone in the market for some gently used furniture?

[ jk jk he's not a big enough to dick to unload this NIGHTMARE FURNITURE onto anybody else. ]

Comments

[bardish]

Oooor haunted! It could go either way, I think.

[bringbackgold]

I guess here, either is possible. Though someone would have had to actually actively put a curse on it. The seller didn't warn you?

[bardish]

Ahhh... no. Because if he had, I wouldn't have bought it.

[ Damn craigslist scammers. ]

[bringbackgold]

I can't say... I'm too surprised. I mean, if someone's selling otherwise perfectly good furniture... [ The first thing he'd ask if something was wrong with it. ]

[bardish]

Ah, well. [ S I G H. ] It was a very nice endtable before it started talking to me.

[bringbackgold]

Did it start talking after you got it home?