DO NOT BUY FURNITURE FROM QUARANTINE CRAIGSLIST!!!! (un: j.calhoun)

[bardish]

WARNING DO NOT BUY USED FURNITURE OFF THE NETWORK!! Some of the sellers here are VERY unscrupulous! I am now the proud owner of:

- 1 cursed endtable (IT KEEPS INSULTING MY MOTHER WHEN I'M TRYING TO SLEEP??)

- 1 set of drawers that was housing a colony of space termites

- 1 mattress that is stained with either blood or cranberry juice or chocolate i'm not sure which. maybe all 3? now i have to sleep on a futon like i'm 19 yrs old again and it's KILLING my back

Anyway is anyone in the market for some gently used furniture?

[ jk jk he's not a big enough to dick to unload this NIGHTMARE FURNITURE onto anybody else. ]

Comments

[tevinteraltus]

I don't make a habit of killing things simply because they're alive, Jeff.

It's a rather curious specimen, regardless of the origin of this particular trait it has. Can you provide whatever observations you've made prior to this post?

[bardish]

no I just meant like.... for magic science

Let's see. it's most active at night and it has very strong opinions about what you put on or in it. oh yeah and it's REALLY PICKY about books

[tevinteraltus]

Nor do I murder things in the name of science.

Ah, a table after my own heart, then. I'll see what I can make of it.