DO NOT BUY FURNITURE FROM QUARANTINE CRAIGSLIST!!!! (un: j.calhoun)

[bardish]

WARNING DO NOT BUY USED FURNITURE OFF THE NETWORK!! Some of the sellers here are VERY unscrupulous! I am now the proud owner of:

- 1 cursed endtable (IT KEEPS INSULTING MY MOTHER WHEN I'M TRYING TO SLEEP??)

- 1 set of drawers that was housing a colony of space termites

- 1 mattress that is stained with either blood or cranberry juice or chocolate i'm not sure which. maybe all 3? now i have to sleep on a futon like i'm 19 yrs old again and it's KILLING my back

Anyway is anyone in the market for some gently used furniture?

[ jk jk he's not a big enough to dick to unload this NIGHTMARE FURNITURE onto anybody else. ]

Comments

[bardish]

A magical companion animal. back in the day people used to associate them with witches

(this is the HIGHLY SIMPLIFIED explanation glossing over centuries of nuance and regional & cultural differences!)

we don't actually have familiars though just fyi.

[ Well, not in that sense, anyway. "FAMILIAR" IS RUDE SLANG IN THE GIFTED COMMUNITY. ]

[childofaxios]

I don't know about magical.

[ Which is ridiculous as soon as she types it. ]

Maybe he showed up magically, but

[ A PAUSE. ]

He can seem to tell what I'm feeling.