riverview | ( VIDEO. 003 )

_{[ Perhaps you recognize this guy because he has two other identical brothers here. Perhaps you recognize him from watching some campy soap opera that he has acted in— you know his face, he's the guy that always dies in the background. If not, perhaps you're one of the unfortunate people who actually know him.. or are friends with him. Yikes. Either way, this feed features Karamatsu illuminated by candlelight, nothing more. He's wearing a closed bathrobe and.. nothing more, either. Well, just about. There's a red bow tied around his neck— if anyone cared to look further, they'll probably see it's also draped over his collarbone, implying he's wrapped up in a ribbon like a present underneath that robe.

Spoiler: he is.

But that's not it. A painful picture deserves some painful monologues, right? He parts his lips, expression appearing wistful. It's bad acting at it's finest. It's cringe worthy. ]}

Ah, December. It is probably... my second favorite time of the year. It is a time for generosity, a time for giving. A time to reflect on your former self as the year draws to an end.. a time for.. love. _{[ TAKES A DRAMATIC SIP OF WINE. ]}
Where I am from.. we celebrate Christmas. It is.. expected, ah no, it is mandatory that love blossoms within the snowy air, shrouding all feelings of loneliness with feelings of adoration— feelings of belong. If you are lonely this month, I can offer you the greatest gift you can ever receive! Ah, are you ready? _{[ He sucks in a breath and then exclaims with a flourish: ]}
IT IS LOVE!!!
It is all the love that I could ever give! Simply accept and be my date on the 25th! I will shower you with gifts! I will shower you with.. romance!
_{[ His voice is cracking slightly from sounding so desperate, tears pricking the corner of his eyes. It's really pitiful. ]}

I will give you a night you won't ever forget! _{[ PROBABLY FOR THE WRONG REASONS... ]}Say goodbye to lonely nights, hello to season delights!!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[The most deadpan:]

What are you going to do on the off chance you get a bunch of replies to this? Back to back dates all day?

_{[ Well, for one, Karamatsu is a little bit too self-aware. He knows probably nobody is going to accept his invitation, but he's got the slightest hope that he is hanging onto.
Secondly, he's too cocky to think he couldn't do it. ]}

Fortunately, I have enough kindness in the world for plenty of dates! Ah, isn't everyone fortunate? My heart is big enough for all!

[That's exactly the answer Ed was expecting.]

Sounds optimistic, hopefully it works out for you. But, you know Christmas isn't really the thing here, why don't you spread the dates out through the rest of the month?

[Is he just trolling at this point?]

_{[ The problem with that.. is the fact he doesn't have any dates. Non. Nadda. Zilch dates. He hasn't really been on a date here before? He thinks he has, but.. that was just hanging out with a person. Is he really this delusional? ]}

Ah.. you are right. I should make this month.. Karamatsu Date Month! That way I can spend enough quality time with my dates!

[And Ed's just feeding right into it, because he's a terrible person, someone take his device away.]

Exactly! With the cabins, fires, hot chocolate... There's plenty to do, no sense cramming it all into one day. We live here now, might as well embrace this world's traditions.

[It's not even like this is a romantic holiday, why is he enabling this.]

I am touched that a stranger would assume that I would receive many offers for dates! Ah, it lifts my spirits in a way.
_{[ his spirits were down?? Evidently. Then, after a moment of contemplation: ]}

I am glad you have accepted my invitation!
_{[ HE SAID NOTHING ABOUT ACCEPTING IT? ]}

You did advertise to the whole network-

[Law of probability and all that. Then Karamatsu is speaking again and Ed just blinks-]

wait- what?

[He totally deserves this.]

Edited 2017-12-10 05:01 (UTC)

That kind of encouragement— it can only come from a true Karamatsu Boy! Hide your shyness from me no longer and simply accept my overflowing affection!
_{[ Ed, you should probably put the brakes on harder before this spirals downwards. ]}

Wait a minute-

[Did he just... ]

Look, I can't be part of your fan club. I don't even know who you are.

Ah, no? You have not heard of me? How surprising.
_{[ NOT REALLY... YOU'RE NOT FAMOUS AT ALL. ]}

My name is Matsuno Karamatsu! I'm the second oldest in a litter of sextuplets. Perhaps you've met one of my other brothers.. we look alike! I have the incredible skill of.. falling off of the roof without dying.. and tying a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue!

I also love.. music!!

Nope, no idea.

[He doesn't seem impressed by literally any of that.]

Good luck with your dates, though.

( VIDEO. 003 ) — un: 2cool

[video | un: edward.elric]

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/clearing out inbox don't mind me