DO NOT BUY FURNITURE FROM QUARANTINE CRAIGSLIST!!!! (un: j.calhoun)

[bardish]

WARNING DO NOT BUY USED FURNITURE OFF THE NETWORK!! Some of the sellers here are VERY unscrupulous! I am now the proud owner of:

- 1 cursed endtable (IT KEEPS INSULTING MY MOTHER WHEN I'M TRYING TO SLEEP??)

- 1 set of drawers that was housing a colony of space termites

- 1 mattress that is stained with either blood or cranberry juice or chocolate i'm not sure which. maybe all 3? now i have to sleep on a futon like i'm 19 yrs old again and it's KILLING my back

Anyway is anyone in the market for some gently used furniture?

[ jk jk he's not a big enough to dick to unload this NIGHTMARE FURNITURE onto anybody else. ]

Comments

[citharede]

Wow, okay, rude, first off. Coming into my house and telling me how my magic works. The more I look at this the more I'm wondering if you talk to normal people like ever. Oh god, you're one of those Well Actually guys, aren't you? You are.

No one's magic is going to be quite like mine, no matter what they do or how perfectly they imitate how I sing. We don't have glyphs or signs or incantations. Magic attaches itself to what you love, so if you want to be any good, you have to study what you love just as hard as you study magic itself. I'm a musician and I'm a pretty damn good one for my age, and that's not a brag, it's just a fact. Am I as good a magician as I am a singer? No, I'm not, but that doesn't mean I'm not studying to be.

I might be an apprentice but at least I don't go pinwheeling my dick whenever I think someone's wrong.

[tevinteraltus]

I believe this is a trap.

[ She must also be a teenager. Was he this way when he was a teenager? No. He was worse. ]

That being said, and in full acceptance of that fact, I'm acutely aware no one's magic would be identical to yours, were to they to imitate your song, because, as you stated, their intent would not be identical. That was also my point. You, however, explained it much more succinctly. Yay, you.

[citharede]

~*~Yay me~*~

[ A brief pause, because her temper tends to dissipate as quickly as it flares up. ]

Seriously, dude, you need to work on your people skills. Maybe the endtable will help.

[tevinteraltus]

[ You know, he's actually been told as much. He'll even admit it, but not directly. ]

I've never heard of a man improving his banter by way of denigrating side tables, but perhaps I'll pioneer a trend.