Video/Potentional Action. Abandoned amusement parks are dope.

[shoplifter]

[Some of you might get worried calls from Linda, Laura's tormented case worker.

The general questioning is: "HAVE YOU SEEN LAURA I HAVEN'T FOUND HER IN HOURS I'VE LOOKED EVERYWHERE."

But then, a Laura entry pops up sometime later in the day:

Her, looking curious, with the telltale signs of vegetation outside of city limits behind her.

She points the camera at the setting of the abandoned amusement park, some disappointment soon to be prevalent in her tone; she'd sneaked out and headed off to the Abandoned City or whatever people call it, mostly to get away from society and sort of marinate in her own thoughts. It's one of those months. Or many of those months. As much as she's tried adapting and appreciates her freedom, sometimes you just need to step away from it all and have your own time.

... In places Linda tells you not to ever sneak off to, of course.

Sue her, she never listens to her authority figures. She's not scared of monsters, anyway; she's already killed two getting here. It's why she's got some tar-colored blood on her sleeves and knuckles.]

We should repair this. I don't know what it is, but it looks like -- a fun place. Some of these have... strange wheels... and cars on railroads. ¿Para qué sirve? Do people who move trains practice here?

[She wanders around, her footfalls echoing in the isolated place. There's a rotted up old booth where you 'shoot' guns for prizes, but the signs are pretty overgrown with vines. She picks up a fake rifle and aims it at the blank target board beyond her, smacking on some bubblegum thoughtfully.]

Is it a place for soldiers to practice, too? It is very colorful for a soldier, but we had some color, too. They liked to put cartoons on the walls. Maybe there are cartoons on walls here, too... Maybe there are lights that make it bright. Like Vegas.

[..... Aha.

She points the camera up, up, up, toward the highest point of the ferris wheel.]

I think you see everything if you climb to the top.

[... I'mma climb to the top.]

[Feel free to have any ACTION threads as well; she's just wandering around, really, enjoying the quiet.]

Video; 1-800-MURDERS

[ragnarsson]

[The video starts off with some cheesy infomercial music, the kind usually found on a device that will cut your hair better or replace all your kitchen devices with one. The narrator, one Jamie Dodger, accompanies a series of drawings.]

Has this ever happened to you?

[A piece of paper is held in front of the camera, showing a crude drawing of someone being violently stabbed to death. Or maybe it's a plate of spaghetti; regardless of which of them drew it, the truth is that their art skills are crap.]

Well, with the help of this eight-step training process, it won't have to. [Dodger's voice lacks every ounce of enthusiasm these infomercials are known for, which is probably why his own video back in the day had been text-only.] Just follow your instructor's guidance and one day you could look like this.

[And again, this drawing is either... someone standing over a pile of corpses, or maybe just a sack of potatoes and some of them have faces? Who knows.]

Time to meet your instructor - Phil Swift himself.

[The video pans over to Ivar, who has the usual somewhat grumpy expression on his face. It’s clear he doesn’t really get this whole idea, but he’s been talked into it. He’ll humor everyone...for now.]

Say something.

Like what?

Sell the product. [Dodger turns the music off with a frustrated huff.] We're not shooting another take.

Fine. [Ivar gives the camera only the most dramatic of all eyerolls.] You all are idiots. I don't care if you have powers, powers don't stop a knife stabbed in your throat. I will teach you to stab people before they stab you. [He looks off to the side of the camera.] Was that good?

...Sure.

[There's an awkward pause here as the boys stare each other down with silent and mutual distaste, before Dodger switches the music back on and resumes his narration.]]

With our teachings you'll be able to stab unaware enemies - [Ivar slices his axe across a dummy's back that they had set up] - slice moving targets - [Dodger throws a pillow from off-screen, and Ivar catches it with his axe and slams it down into the floor] - and even counter fireballs, all from the comfort of your broken leg throne.

[There's another long moment of silence, as Ivar slowly looks up with a cold fire in his eyes.]

And now, ladies and gentleman, for the finale, you get to see a live demonstration. [He yanks his axe back out and there’s a psychotic grin on his face.] Start running, Dodger.

[The video concludes with the device that music is coming from knocking over and warping the sound of the tune with an eerie lilt, and cuts out with a flash of sparks and a loud pop as Dodger dodges an incoming throwing axe.]

[OOC: Know that there will be a lot of threadjacking going on in this post. Dodger and he are horrible human beings.]