@det.prettyboy; text

[causational]

Hey everyone! I don't post on here super often, but I've been laid up for a week now and I'm going a little crazy. Total cabin fever.

I used to see forums like this on the internet back home, and I thought it might be kind of fun here too, so I thought I'd give it a try, because reading those forums was always a lot of fun.

So, Crowd-Sourced Relationship Advice!

I turned on anonymous posting on here, so you can make a fake username and submit a description of a problem that you're having in your relationships, either romantic or at work or whatever, and other anonymous people can give you advice!

Or you can stay logged in on your real account. Up to you!

Comments

<anon>

[11calls]

It's both disheartening and almost endearing that we all seem to have the same sort of love problems. Other than the anon who needed help with their hair, I guess?

Anyway, I recently realized that back home what I thought were really intensive friendship feelings for a colleague, are actually my being in love with him. There are some pretty substantial reasonings for us not being together, especially, you know, when you've been kidnapped to a moon, but there are still hurdles back home too.

So, how do you deal with something that you've always know has no actual chance of happening? I mean, there's literally no way he feels the same about me. And yes, I know drinking and what not, but does this sort of 'could have been amazing if we got our shit together' feeling ever go away?

<anon>

[bottombitch]

wait
what do you mean
you found out your platonic feelings
were actually romantic feelings

like how did you come to that conclusion

<anon>

[11calls]

Yeah, I did. And honestly? I was fighting with someone about the person who I love and it just kind of slipped out.

Then I thought about it more and realized it was true.

<anon>

[bottombitch]

oh

i kind of had a similar thing
someone close to me
did something he shouldn't have
and i got mad at him
because i was with someone at the time

i scolded him but even then
i kept thinking about it
i thought
i must be a bad person
a bad boyfriend for thinking about it
but i couldn't help it
i kept thinking about how it ended up like that

...

and then my boyfriend left me without a word
so sometimes i wonder if this is karma

<anon>

[11calls]

If it helps, I really don't think that karma works like that.

What did he do?

<anon>

[bottombitch]

you mean my friend?

he kissed me
even though he knew i had a boyfriend

...

anyway a lot has happened since then
he wants to be my boyfriend
but it's kind of a lot to deal with
i'm not really sure what i want
and i don't want to hurt him by
you know
being with him
especially if it's because i'm feeling lonely
and i still have feelings for my ex

<anon>

[11calls]

I think if you're honest about not knowing what it is that you're feeling, you shouldn't feel guilty because he's making the choice to be with you knowing all of that.

<anon>

[tevinteraltus]

No.
I do wish I had a better answer for you, but everyone here is a collection of regrets and "could be's", and " should have's". The best we can do is learn from those choices, and to allow ourselves the opportunity to choose less poorly the next time.

And I suppose to hope there *is* a next time, but I digress.

<anon>

[11calls]

Well fuck. This sucks.

But I also don't think we chose who to fall in love with either. I mean, I never would have chosen this person. He's kind of human disaster. Don't get me wrong, I am too, but... Definitely wouldn't have chosen this.

<anon>

[tevinteraltus]

I really don't think such things are chosen. If so, we'd all be perfect, and everyone else would be as well.

Sometimes the only thing holding you back is thinking there's no way they could feel the same, and you only find out when it's too late that wasn't the case. Sometimes, you harbor feelings you never wanted for someone who will never feel the same.

Sometimes that's enough, or sometimes you have to tell yourself it is until it's true, or at least until it's close enough to the truth to pass.

[ Anon has a lot of regrets. ]

<anon>

[11calls]

Regrets are the worst

[She means that so hard right now.]

Sometimes feelings are the worst too. But there's not really to do about them, is there? All the drinking and sex in the world can't turn your brain off all the time.

<anon>

[tevinteraltus]

Too right.

[ Him too, girl. Him too. ]

If the drinking and the casual sex isn't working, you need to learn to apply yourself, dear.
That was a rather bitter joke, honestly.

<anon>

[11calls]

Well, good to know that I was at least taking steps in the right direction to sort of completely not feel about it?

Yeah, bitter joke there too.

It seems a million times worse, not knowing if he's even missing me back home, you know?

<anon>

[bastardofipswich]

fuck as many different people as possible

<anon>

[11calls]

That's not as much of an answer as you think it is. Meaningless sex is often times just meaningless, you know. And sometimes that makes you feel even worse.

[bastardofipswich]

nah that just means you weren't trying hard enough
hook up with 100 random strangers!
you can do it!!
i believe in you!!!

[11calls]

No offense, but it kind of sounds like you really have no idea what you're talking about when it comes to sex.

And you're trolling too hard. Listen to the catfish advice, anon. Keep it small.

[bastardofipswich]

nah i don't want to

[11calls]

Then you're not going to get better at it, kiddo.

<anon>

[apt666]

Humans complicate things so much. That feeling will never go away. People hold grudges for thousands and thousands of years, I see no reason that loving someone would be any different.

<anon>

[11calls]

Okay, so at the risk of outing myself, I have to ask. If you're not human, then what are you?

Also damn, that is a depressing answer.

<anon>

[apt666]

Not human. I suppose you could say I was God's scapegoat.

I suppose, but it's the way it is. The only way to stop things is to kill them, usually literally.

<anon>

[11calls]

So. You're a demon then?

[Don't be a demon, don't be a demon don't be a demon.]

Doesn't killing them not even work sometimes?

<anon>

[apt666]

No. Close, but no. I'll give you another guess though.

And yes. I suppose. That was the point, though. You'll always hold onto things.

<anon>

[11calls]

Okay. Will given the mention of God's scapegoat I'm going to make a guess and say Judeo Christian Lucifer or Satan or whatever?

[She's spent three years investigating demonic cults. She's got some basis for comparison.

Even if she doesn't want it to be true.]