DO NOT BUY FURNITURE FROM QUARANTINE CRAIGSLIST!!!! (un: j.calhoun)

[bardish]

WARNING DO NOT BUY USED FURNITURE OFF THE NETWORK!! Some of the sellers here are VERY unscrupulous! I am now the proud owner of:

- 1 cursed endtable (IT KEEPS INSULTING MY MOTHER WHEN I'M TRYING TO SLEEP??)

- 1 set of drawers that was housing a colony of space termites

- 1 mattress that is stained with either blood or cranberry juice or chocolate i'm not sure which. maybe all 3? now i have to sleep on a futon like i'm 19 yrs old again and it's KILLING my back

Anyway is anyone in the market for some gently used furniture?

[ jk jk he's not a big enough to dick to unload this NIGHTMARE FURNITURE onto anybody else. ]

Comments

[bardish]

[ S I G H. ]

It waited a good twelve hours, first.

[ As for the mattress, geez, you get high and go secondhand furniture shopping on the network one time... ]

Well, I can safely say bedbugs weren't the problem here.

[11calls]

Okay, but are you sure of that though? Cause that definitely looks like the sort of thing that would attract bedbugs.

[She's just saying. Oh also:]

Ask Richard to debunk your table.

[nobasisinfact]

I'd prefer not to deal with the possibly infectious things that he poorly chose to buy.

Especially if it was for a case of beer.

[11calls]

Well, that's fair. I don't want bedbugs either.

But don't you want to debunk it?

[Challenge there? You bet. She's going to get you to admit this isn't a delusion in one way or another.]

[nobasisinfact]

I believe I mentioned a vacation.

[He will not step up to your challenge.]

[11calls]

[Fair point. For the moment.]

Okay. But it still would have been interesting to see.

[And sexy, Richard. Really Sexy.]

[nobasisinfact]

You've seen that 'interesting' side of my work more than enough, Miss Reagan.

[11calls]

As you say, Dr. Strand.

[But a cursed end table, Richard!]

[bardish]

[ THE WHINIEST GROAN. ] Pleeeaaase let me believe there aren't any bedbugs here.

[ Because tbh, for as inconvenient as all of this is? He'd still rather have a cursed endtable, a murder mattress, and a termite colony than BEDBUGS. ]

...okay, admittedly, that is tempting.

[11calls]

Sorry. Honestly, I hope there's not too. Especially considering the size of the bugs here.

[Alex is making such a face right now, Jeff, you don't even know.]

He's on vacation, sadly.

[bardish]

Well, when he's off vacation, there's a whole host of things for him to debunk at Gramarye.

[11calls]

I don't think he's off vacation until we get home. But you should tell him, Jeff.

[Someone other than her, thanks.]