(OPEN) anonymous text;

[mysophobic]

What do you do...when you know there's no way to really change anything in your future? Knowing that something bad is going to happen to you and you might change into something you fear.

[ Of course even if it weren't for the alternate reality fiasco he'd changed into a monster before back home. He feels...so hopeless in not turning into a horrifying monster here that he's not sure what to do. Especially after what happened recently at the light festival. ]

Even if you prepare for it as best as you can... [ there's just no way a phrobiest can ever outrun turning into a monster, is there? Or...perhaps there is here. Which was the main point of all of this in the first place. ]

I'd like to ask if anyone has a power suppression collar, or something that can aid in power suppression. I'd be really grateful if you could message me about it.

[ He's sort of desperate and he's not sure if meditation will be enough. He wants to make sure...that if it happens again he can stop himself next time. ]

Comments

text; un: slyblue

[bottombitch]

[ Aoba knows there are people here with abilities that are on a whole different level, the ability to control the weather, to change the very material something is made of into something else entirely, to heal and hurt. They're all incredible, but to hear that someone is thinking of dampening or cutting off those abilities in order to avert disaster?

He's curious. Maybe that'll keep the other 'him' from coming out too. ]

Um... that's a pretty specific request.

What are you afraid of turning into?

[mysophobic]

[ Ugh oh no. Aoba is not the person Shigeru was expecting to reply to his message? It actually has him curious about why he might though.

What was he afraid of turning into...a monster is what he'd like to type, but that's a bit unnerving to hear probably. ]

It's...something I can't really control, no matter how hard I try to.

I just don't want to hurt the people I care about with my powers. [ He can't stand this, the fact that he hurt Dodger, but more importantly what if he hurt Genji? He'd never forgive himself if that happened. ]

[bottombitch]

[ If he knew who Dodger was, Aoba would probably have a few words to say about it. Probably something similar to 'karma's a bitch'. Still, he'd sympathize with the regrettable feeling of being responsible for hurting someone. ]

I can relate a little bit.

[ He could lie and claim he 'has a friend' who has a power that can do great harm, but that's really not his style. ]

I have this ability, it's called Scrap.
Normally it's not a big deal, but sometimes it's too powerful to control and it happens without even thinking about it. Sometimes I don't even remember doing it, and I wonder if maybe I'm better off without it.

[mysophobic]

[ He feels terrible knowing that Aoba has something similar to his own issues. He knows that the other man is way too kind to go through something like losing control of himself and hurting others. ]

Mine happens when I...get stressed or very upset. I can't really stop it either. It just takes control of me and turns me into something terrifying.

[ He might pause momentarily before he writes one more thing. ]

I wish I didn't have these powers sometimes.

I'm sorry that you have to go through this too.

[bottombitch]

This might sound kind of weird, but I think it's actually kind of a good thing?

[ Stressed or upset. That's pretty much when it hits him hardest. Those times when he's out of his wits with fear or helplessness and something else takes over. He fades out while another crowds in and then he comes to with a foggy memory at best... but safe. ]

I thought I was the only one dealing with this kind of thing, and it felt very lonely... it's not really something I can just talk about. But because you were able to here, it got me thinking.

Maybe we can help each other out, seeing as we seem to have a similar problem?

un: KingFisherman

[brotrips]

You're giving up too early if it hasn't happened yet. How can you be so sure you won't change it?

[mysophobic]

It has happened though. Twice here and twice back home it's happened too...

[ He doesn't know what he could possibly do to stop this. He's just...not really in a good place right now. ]

I don't think it can be changed. I keep trying to change but it never really works.

[brotrips]

You're anonymous, right? Unless I know the story, I can't really say more. Things can change. People can change. I know that.

[mysophobic]

[ Shigeru knows that too but this isn't really...something that he thinks can be fixed. It's just like back home all over again. ]

But this sort of thing...I don't really think it can be changed.

[ At least not here or even back home. ]

Maybe I can stop it by suppressing my powers but I don't think I can ever really get rid of it. It's a part of me.

text | un: diana

[eusebeia]

The future is not written in stone. You can change it. You've proven that you want to try.

[ that much is apparent, based on this stranger's request. ]

[mysophobic]

It's figuring out how, that's the hard part for me. I don't want...to hurt anyone else. I'm afraid that I might if it continues like this.

[ His gate is a mess and he knows it's only a matter of time before it fully collapses and he turns into a monster from it. ]

[eusebeia]

Perhaps I can help. If you tell me more.

[mysophobic]

[ Does he...really want to is the question. But, no, pushing people away about it won't solve anything. ]

My powers are connected to my mental state. And lately I've been having a hard time to the point where I lost control of my powers entirely.

[ It's a weird thing to hear and probably something that seems easy enough to fix but...with the state of his gate being what it is, well, that's easier said than done. ]

There's o way to really fix the damage done and that has me worried.

@sparrow; text

[flowlikewater]

I think having the gift of knowing your future can help avert it.
>If you truly think it's one that shouldn't come to pass.

[mysophobic]

[ Ugh oh no. This is...not who he wanted commenting on his post at all. It's one of the reasons he kept himself anonymous. But now that Genji is actually responding he just...really wants to talk to him about this. ]

It shouldn't. It scares me...I don't want to turn into- [ Wait. No. Genji will probably realize that it's him if he says that. ]

I don't think I can avert it and that scares me the most. [ He's glad he's only texting because his eyes are stinging with tears right now. If he ever hurt Genji...he couldn't live with himself and just knowing that he might makes his heartache. ]

[flowlikewater]

If you know your future, then you have an advantage over the 'you' that first went through it. Right? 'You' know more.
>I've never been someone who believes in fate.

[ Genji doesn't think it's Shigeru. He would probably still say the same thing to him if he did, although it'd be a lot more emotional. ]

[mysophobic]

[ He just...really wants to tell Genji who he is right now. He's worried that Genji will look at him differently though like back home. Even if people said they were okay with him after seeing him like that, after everything he did, and turned into that monster. He knows people are afraid of him, including Alex. It really hurts...it hurts so much and he's not sure what to do. ]

I can't...I can't stop it though. Even knowing everything about it. It's getting worse and I...I don't know what to do, Genji.

[ Oh, damn. He let it slip. But he's way too tired and in pain to really care. He hadn't meant to do that. But he just doesn't care right now. He's hurting and Genji always makes everything right. He always manages to calm him down but he feels horrible placing this burden on him. ]

I'm scared that I might hurt you too.

text | un: wingoftheophany

[knightofcybertron]

I'm afraid I don't have what it is you ask for, but without knowing much about your situation, I can say this:

If you know your future is certain, and there is nothing you can do about it, all you can do is to prepare as best you can and minimize the effects. But if you can do even that much, I believe you can change your future.

[mysophobic]

I've been trying to do that. Back home...things like this happen all the time. My kind don't...live very long because of our powers. I know this, but there's only two options for me. Either my powers kill me or they turn me into a monster.

[ Both are terrible and he really hates the fact that he can't exactly do anything about it. ]

I don't want to turn into a monster. I don't want to hurt anyone either.

[knightofcybertron]

I regret that I'm very new to this world, and I haven't much experience with organic life such as your own. But this city is full of possibility and technology that I'm new to. What can I do to help you? If there is anything you can name or any thought you might have, I would be more than happy to assist.

[Because honestly, he can't not help. It's just not who he is.]

[mysophobic]

I...I don't know. There's nothing here that can help me like in my own world. It's scary. I don't really know how to stop the progression and that...terrifies me. I wanted to try and see if there was a way to suppress my powers for that reason.

[ Because he doesn't know what else to really do. ]

But even then I'm not sure if it'll be enough.

Text; anonymous

[almightiness]

I wouldn't say anything is put in stone 100%, no matter how much it seems like it is... That said, I have, from what I've learned through a reputable prophesier and friend that I have year or two left before I'm supposed to die. I suppose my main way of tackling it is doing everything I can, as long as I can, as hard as I can — for the sake of those around me.

[He isn't really one to talk about this, but anonymously? Sure, sign him up.]

What sort of power do you have?

[mysophobic]

[ Oh. Well. Shigeru wasn't expecting that sort of respond. It...makes him kind of sad to read that this person only has a short time to live. For him it's not as clean cut as that. Whether he 'dies' or not depends on how his gate is affected. Either a gate collapses and destroys everything in a 10 mile radius or the phrobiests in question turns into a monster instead. ]

I can breakdown and reform things at a sub-atomic level. [ A pause. ]

It's one of the reasons why people fear me back home.

[almightiness]

Ah, that's an incredible power.

... I can understand why people would be afraid, but you have the power to do wonderful things.

[mysophobic]

It's not as amazing as some other powers here. I don't...ever use it for harmful things. I'd never do something like that.

But recently I...it's harder to control them when I get stressed or angry.

[ Ugh it just makes him feel so terrible. ]

I feel awful about hurting the person I did. I just...couldn't control myself.