DO NOT BUY FURNITURE FROM QUARANTINE CRAIGSLIST!!!! (un: j.calhoun)

[bardish]

WARNING DO NOT BUY USED FURNITURE OFF THE NETWORK!! Some of the sellers here are VERY unscrupulous! I am now the proud owner of:

- 1 cursed endtable (IT KEEPS INSULTING MY MOTHER WHEN I'M TRYING TO SLEEP??)

- 1 set of drawers that was housing a colony of space termites

- 1 mattress that is stained with either blood or cranberry juice or chocolate i'm not sure which. maybe all 3? now i have to sleep on a futon like i'm 19 yrs old again and it's KILLING my back

Anyway is anyone in the market for some gently used furniture?

[ jk jk he's not a big enough to dick to unload this NIGHTMARE FURNITURE onto anybody else. ]

Comments

[bardish]

because I'm not rolling in cash and it's WAAAAY cheaper than new furniture

Wait. you really want it?

[tevinteraltus]

Yes, "cheap" in the demonstrative, clearly.

And of course. I'm a scholar, among many things.

@citharede

[citharede]

Okay I have to ask, what does being a scholar have to do with wanting a really mean endtable?

@d.pavus

[tevinteraltus]

Magical dissection. Is it cursed? Possessed? It isn't entirely unheard of for a spirit to inhabit an inanimate object, after all.

[citharede]

...Okay that's cool. You're Gifted? I mean you have magic, I guess?

[tevinteraltus]

"Gifted"? Oh, I rather like that.

Yes. Rather gifted, in fact. I am very good at the whole "magic" thing. In my world, I am what is referred to as a Mage. I, personally, am a fully vested Enchanter, as is only expected. I matriculated for quite some time, after all.

[citharede]

[ She stares at this message for a second, trying to decide if she's reminded more of Goodsir or A Dictionary. ]

Well now I feel dumb.

I just sing and spells happen.

[tevinteraltus]

Vocabulary is a power available to all.

Truly? Do different songs produce different magical effects? Are these effects consistent with mood or verbiage? Does the energy come from within or without?

[citharede]

I've got a vocabulary! It's just apparently more like a sailor's vocab then a smart person's.

God okay. It's been ages since I read The Principles of Magic but I can totally do this.

Starting with the last one first. Magic's definitely an internal thing. I think it's like 12% of the population that has it, iirc. We're just called the Gifted and people without it are Standards, or Blanks if you're being an asshole. Which I am an asshole, so you know.

Spells are... They're pretty much individual. Like. Two people doing the same song isn't going to necessarily get the same effect. It's about intent. What you want and how you want to get it. I could sing a song and use it to lift someone's wallet WHICH IS JUST AN EXAMPLE, OK. And someone else could use the same song to make something levitate or set it on fire or something.

Magic is kind of... it's about ~feelings~ more than bibbity-boppity-boo stuff.

[tevinteraltus]

I would argue its intent changes the fundamental usage of the spell, thus the spell itself, negating these two examples being the same spell or "song" as you say. Magic itself is bent to mortal will, that I can follow and practice moment to moment, but a glyph designed to funnel magic into a torrent will funnel fire as easily as lightning. Intent as you say, but the fundamentals of the spell are changed, thus the spell itself. In appearance, the same, but not the same.

"No" and "know". "There", "they're", and "their".

It seems most realities assume a finite effect when I use the term "spell". Apparently, its meaning on Thedas varies greatly from the rest of the multiverse. Magic isn't simple, but it is an exact science beyond lifting a wallet or the uncontrolled event of setting something on fire.

Are you an apprentice, by chance? Your knowledge seems rudimentary at best. Of course, mages also exist who have no interest in furthering the boundaries of Thaumaturgy, who are content with sticking to the tried and true methods of levitating a rock. Is it that you count yourself among their number?

[citharede]

Wow, okay, rude, first off. Coming into my house and telling me how my magic works. The more I look at this the more I'm wondering if you talk to normal people like ever. Oh god, you're one of those Well Actually guys, aren't you? You are.

No one's magic is going to be quite like mine, no matter what they do or how perfectly they imitate how I sing. We don't have glyphs or signs or incantations. Magic attaches itself to what you love, so if you want to be any good, you have to study what you love just as hard as you study magic itself. I'm a musician and I'm a pretty damn good one for my age, and that's not a brag, it's just a fact. Am I as good a magician as I am a singer? No, I'm not, but that doesn't mean I'm not studying to be.

I might be an apprentice but at least I don't go pinwheeling my dick whenever I think someone's wrong.

[tevinteraltus]

I believe this is a trap.

[ She must also be a teenager. Was he this way when he was a teenager? No. He was worse. ]

That being said, and in full acceptance of that fact, I'm acutely aware no one's magic would be identical to yours, were to they to imitate your song, because, as you stated, their intent would not be identical. That was also my point. You, however, explained it much more succinctly. Yay, you.

[citharede]

~*~Yay me~*~

[ A brief pause, because her temper tends to dissipate as quickly as it flares up. ]

Seriously, dude, you need to work on your people skills. Maybe the endtable will help.

[tevinteraltus]

[ You know, he's actually been told as much. He'll even admit it, but not directly. ]

I've never heard of a man improving his banter by way of denigrating side tables, but perhaps I'll pioneer a trend.

[bardish]

hey man that's MY apprentice you're talking to there!

[ ...and is anybody surprised the stoner burnout ex-bard is this kid's mentor. ]

Just because she doesn't know all the dictionary definitions or the science behind it, it doesn't mean she's incurious or unambitious. She's a damn good magician, and she's an AMAZING musician, and that's why she's going to excel.

[ Because, as Athena said, magic attaches itself to what you love. So that detail's pretty important! ]

She works her ass off putting principles to practice, WAY MORE than most Gifted do. So don't talk down to her.

[ HE THINKS YOU'RE A COOL DUDE, DORIAN, but this is one thing he gets testy about-- enough so that he actually bothers to type properly. ]

[tevinteraltus]

I apologize if it appeared I was "talking down" to her, as you say.

I'll concede and leave the girl's education in your apparently capable hands.

[ A rather diplomatic response. He doesn't want to start a fight, even if he feels he isn't in the wrong. ]

[bardish]

ok i'm going to give you dibs on the condition that if it turns out this thing is actually sentient or something you WILL NOT KILL IT

it's such a jerk but i'm kind of getting attached to it... Not enough to keep it I mean!

[ JUST ENOUGH THAT HE WANTS IT TO FIND A GOOD HOME. ]

[tevinteraltus]

I don't make a habit of killing things simply because they're alive, Jeff.

It's a rather curious specimen, regardless of the origin of this particular trait it has. Can you provide whatever observations you've made prior to this post?

[bardish]

no I just meant like.... for magic science

Let's see. it's most active at night and it has very strong opinions about what you put on or in it. oh yeah and it's REALLY PICKY about books

[tevinteraltus]

Nor do I murder things in the name of science.

Ah, a table after my own heart, then. I'll see what I can make of it.