Entries tagged with the adventure zone: taako taaco

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video; @doom

[The feed opens up on Doom sitting at his desk in his office at Gramarye, looking Very Professional, which is basically second nature to him because that's just the kind of guy he is.]

Good evening, everyone. My name is Victor and it is with great honor that I announce that Gramarye Magic Research is going to putting on its first ever fundraising gala next Saturday. It will be a masquerade with the theme of otherworldly. Everyone in the city is invited and we will provide the masks.

[He pauses for a moment to clear his throat.]

Attendance is mandatory for everyone who is currently employed at Gramarye.

[There's a glint in his eyes when he says that. Like he's completely willing to hunt every single one of his coworkers down and drag them kicking and screaming into nice clothes to go to this.

That look disappears almost as quickly as it appeared.]

We will also be holding a bachelor and bachelorette auction during the event to help raise money for to keep Gramarye running at its current level. If anyone would like to volunteer, please contact me privately and I can sign you up.

If anyone else has any questions or comments, I'd be happy to speak to you about them.

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video; @fromTV

[Oh hey, it's Taako, wearing Taako clothes and a pointy hat. Obviously it's Taako.]

I, the great Taako Taaco desire to learn new and exciting languages because I have a need to show everyone how smart I am behind this undeniably gorgeous face. You should teach me all your strange languages, as nothing is beyond my immensely powerful abilities.

[He's grinning, faux fanning himself like he's just too hot for this feed.]

Since I have all of your undivided attention, you must know that all my stunning good looks and amazing magical powers all come from the fact that I have a really small dick.

[And oh hey, it’s Taako again, except this time it’s just his voice off-screen:]

Hey dingus, have you seen my pho... ne..?

[It’s a very telltale trailing off, the way someone who has caught their shitty sister in the act of Pretending To Be Them™ in front of the entire fucking network.]

Gimme it, now.

[There’s a surprised shout and then a lot of cackling as the phone is pulled up and Taako #1 is running off to the other side of the room to get as far away from Taako #2 as possible.]

OH NO, AN IMPOSTOR! Save me! I’m too beautiful and sexy to die!

[Luckily, at least one member of this family remembers they’re a wizard, and the phone is mysteriously plucked from Taako #1’s hand and returned to the real Taako, who turns the phone to face him so everyone can see how done he is.]

What’s up, chucklefucks, I’d like to introduce you to my complete asshole of a sister who I hate more than anything in this world.

[From behind the phone, now;]

RUDE.

Don’t start shit you can’t finish. [He sticks his tongue out in her general direction, then turns his attention back the camera.] I’m for real about the languages thing, I’m bored and wanna learn new shit, she just jacked my idea before I could come ask. Do not believe her about the dick thing, though, that's fake as hell.

[With the alarming sound of encroaching footsteps, Taako quickly shuts off the feed.]

[ooc: Lup = red, Taako = purple. They're both the worst]

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6 [@necromantica: video]

Hello everyone... Carnivale was interesting, wasn't it?

[She hadn't spent much time there, but that's probably a good thing. Being startled by loud noises and lewd displays would probably have a horrible effect on her child, who's already a danger to her enough as it is.

For those who haven't seen Letha in a while, she's turning incredibly pale... even for her already pale and ashen skin tone. There are very dark rings under her eyes, and her cheeks seem sunken in as if she hasn't been eating for days. The rest of her seems equally frail; her fingers shaking, her lips blue-ish, her hair unkempt and pulled into messy pigtails. The only part of her that doesn't seem affected is her pregnant belly, which looks so big on her now that she seems ready to burst. Still, she's doing her absolute best to act like nothing is the matter.]

I seem to have fallen behind on meeting the new faces here... forgive me, I've gotten rather complacent with sitting around at home. Hello to everyone who has yet to meet me, my name is Letha! [At least she's doing her best to be cheerful and ignore how sick she looks.] I've been here for several months now, I'll be happy to help you have any... any questions. Anything you need.

[That pause there? She just got a wave of a massive headache... she looks woozy as she turns the broadcast off, but she really is doing her best to hide it.]

Entry tags:

voice, @widowmaker

[ Good evening, Quarantine! Widowmaker's voice sounds calm and smoothly dispassionate as usual, and as French as ever, as she makes apparently a brief announcement: ]

If anyone plans to be in the area, there was a small breach of the outer fence near the zoo of the abandoned city. They are little things, nothing a few well placed headshots will not take care of — but quick. A few may have escaped my attentions.

[ She doesn't sound very pleased about that. Her night is definitely gonna be tracking down whatever monster she's referring that slipped in over the fence.

After a brief pause, she continues. ]

There is also the matter of Kane — Jacob Kane. A man with incredibly poor timing, it seems. He —

—is fine. Jacob’s… fine.

[ Don’t believe it. He sounds pained. There's another pause, longer this time, before Widowmaker's voice continues. ]

...Medical attention would be appreciated. I can send coordinates.

Really… really, I’ll be—

[ Whatever it is he'll be gets cut off as the broadcast ends. ]

Entry tags:

video | un: mooncents

[ the video opens on ~~our hero~~ a very tired looking woman, clearly laying on her assigned bed in the communal housing area, biting her lower lip and fiddling with her phone. once she realizes she's got it recording, she starts speaking. ]

So somebody decided to combine forums, vlogging, and FaceTime all in one neat social media package. [ cat pulls a face. ] Yeah, I don't feel any less awkward just talking to a phone camera than I did when my brother decided he wanted to start vlogging and I absolutely had to be in his first video.

[ she sighs and pushes some stray hairs off her forehead. ]

Alright, so. If I'm going to be here for a while, and it looks like I am, there's a couple things I want to know. The first is why there are so many goddamn foxes in this city? It's like catdog central here. Second, just how dangerous does stuff get outside the inhabited part of the city? Is exploring past the first fences more like taking a hike in a forest in Wyoming where no one can hear you scream or walking through, I don't know, the Serengeti or Amazon? I'm not really inclined to go there either way, but just in case one of the outdoorsy nuts I know from home gets pulled here, I want to be able to sit them down and tell them why going there is a bad idea and why they shouldn't drag me along.

[ there's a pause, and cat looks up and to the side, away from the camera, clearly thinking. ]

I think that's it. Wait, no. Just in case one of my new roomies snores, is there somewhere I can get good but cheap earplugs around? I've got my headphones from home with me but I can't really sleep with those on.

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un: b.zethir, text;

[ooc: warning for stick figure drawings of a dead/partially eaten goat and horses with too many legs??

Context: thread 01, thread 02, & thread 03]

( Read more... )

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[ text | un: trickster ]

[ The best way to deal with crippling revelations is to make inane posts. Well. Maybe not so inane since he is genuinely lost. ]

What is the different between a boyfriend and a boy friend? Are there various levels of friendship that are distinguished by sex? The online literature on this subject is perplexing in nature. How does one earn these titles?

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audio ☂ un:liches.get.stitches

[Good morning Riverview. America's favourite wizard is here with an announcement.

America's favourite wizard is also doing his first audio only post, because he looks like shit and he's out of spell slots to cast Disguise Self.]

So, uh, what's up, my dudes? I'm gonna cut to the chase here, cause most of you aren't complete idiots and have probably noticed that some weird shit is happening and that weird shit, while not my fault, is thanks to some fucko in my world messing with magical items, so now we're dealing with the consequences.

[That fucko is Magnus, who he's throwing under the bus on this, although not by name at least.

There's a very audible sigh from Taako's end of things.]

Here's the skinny: an item with control over time has gotten its shit messed up in the portal, and that's why people are suddenly like, babies or whatever, and the folks here don't really, uh, well they don't know how to fix it. They don't know enough about the chalice, and I don't know enough about the portal, so... so we're asking for help. I'd put money on arcane knowledge getting us the furthest, but at this point I'm willing to take input from anyone who knows their science shit, too, as long as you're not gonna try to tell me that magic doesn't exist. I can guaran-fucking-tee that I'm not in the mood.

[Someone hasn't slept in two days because he's been trying to figure this out, worried about both the chalice itself and the potential that a part of the light existing in this universe could lead the Hunger to it.]

The big thing is that it needs to go back, we bring that shit all the way in here and it's gonna break pretty bad for a lot of people and this stupid cup has given me enough grief that I'm super ready to never see it again in my entire life. Anyone who wants to help should get in touch with the dudes running the portal, but if you got questions I can field 'em. Heads up, you'll get better answers if you promise me coffee.

[He's doing his Good Deed of the week, he could at least get some caffeine out of it.]

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( 01 - text ) un: mercy

I'd never considered that other worlds or realities might exist when I was at home. We're rather advanced technologically speaking, but I had been so focused on things in my own world that the possibility of there being others didn't even cross my mind.

Though things were quite busy anyway, and I'm more a doctor than I am a scientist, so perhaps that can be excused.

( this would probably be more winston's area. he was always more interested in science and answers and other planets and worlds - understandable, given his own home, and the focus on lena's time bending and jumping issues. angela is a doctor first, interested in medicine and how she can help people, using science and technology to do that. it's a single-minded focus that she's been stubborn about for almost her whole life.

but being pulled into a new world can very much push that to the wayside, she's found. )

Have any of you experienced something like this before, or is it completely new to you? And for those of you who have been here longer, what do you make of this place? The other people here, its traditions, the world itself, etc. I'm curious to know.

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text; @p.dameron

[so … rey is missing. he's tried to check on her, found some of her belongings (and took them for safekeeping in fear of the worst…), but no her. with hux lurking around, it's really hard not to fear the worst. but he's gonna keep it together and make a nice normal network post everything is a-ok here it's fuckin' fine!!]

How many of you are from a place with normalized space travel? The more people I talk to, the more I realize it's rare. I was thinking, maybe if I had enough people who were interested and had the right knowledge … who knows what could happen. We could put together a ship, go exploring. This wouldn't be an instant thing, I know it'd take a lot of time and work. But if other people are interested, we could try and make it happen.

[jk it's not fine aw here it goes]

And I was just wondering: has anyone seen Rey around? She's new, too, so I don't know how many people would actually know her … but she was living on the fourth floor in communal housing. Brown hair, carried around a staff sometimes?

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text, un: anonymouse

so hey i'm Asking For A Friend ;) but how many other immortals are here in the quarantine? any?

also! important question!! what did everyone get told when they got here? what questions did you ask? i wanna know what we're working with! Let's Work Together!

p.s., if you want to answer the first question without a name there are burner phones available at [ small list of locations ] to make unattached accounts. i'm just looking for at least numbers! names would be radical too of course!

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video • id: legionare

[ max isn’t big on typing — the device feels fragile and small in his hands and hitting the right places is an exercise in frustration, really — but the voice and video functions are similar enough to some of the things that can be achieved by furycrafting that they seem almost familiar. so here he is on the network, still in full uniform, looking very much like a roman soldier straight out of a history book, for those who have romans in their history books. (to those who know clark kent, he might also look like a younger version of clark pretending to be a roman.) ]

Can’t say I really understand what furycrafting’s gotten me here and I do have to get back, but while I’m here —

[ his posture and expression might have been professional until now, fit for a legionare, but here he grins, something rakish and wide. ] Where’s the nearest bar? Any recommendations for food or drink?

[ a moment later, he sobers again. in more quiet tones, he adds: ] Calderon, if you’re here as well, come find me.

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text; id: elsa

Seems to be a lot of introductions and specific requests on this thing recently. Let's change things up a bit. Here's a few general questions for the masses:

1. If you could travel to any time period, when would it be and why?
2. If you could have any superpower, what would you want? Why?
3. What's your stripper name? Name of your first or favorite pet/stuffed animal + the name of the street you grew up on. Mine's 'Bear Handley'.

Feel free to comment on everybody else's answers. That's what's supposed to make forums like this interesting.

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video; stark

[Tony has the Iron Man helmet with face plate up and one of the gauntlets on which he uses to wave at the camera. He's smiling brightly, but there are bags under his eyes and the flush to his cheeks are from more than just excitement.]

Some of you might remember a certain someone's offer to trade junk into something better. Please be sure to get the right guy because I don't work for scraps. If you have trouble telling us apart, other me is highly strung and a little sensitive.

[He taps his fingers against his chin.]

Perhaps we should change names as well. I was already thinking of rebranding Iron Man and getting a new paint job. And he can be... do you think he'd mind if I called him Greg? Or is that a little too morbid using a dead man's name? He'd have to dye his hair too, we look terrible in white otherwise...

[He picks up a bottle with his uncovered hand and takes a drink.]

Okay, it probably is. This silly event has got me maudlin I see.

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video; @ellie

[So. Someone thought she needed a guitar, and she's got a pretty damn sneaking suspicion who.

And that he wouldn't appreciate a call-out. Instead, Ellie just pans the video over an acoustic guitar and a stack of books she'd found on her doorstep a few hours ago. What's visible of her bedroom looks pretty... normal, all things considered. She's put up a poster. Her bed's made (with neat, military hospital corners) and there's some laundry scattered on the floor. She's sort of right on the median line of 'neat' versus 'teenager messy'. Some days, neat wins. Other days... well.

Other days, her laundry goes straight on the floor.]

Hi.

[Great opener, Ellie.]

Um... so. My name's Ellie. I'm looking for some song recs, easy stuff. We're talking, like... 'a five year old with two left hands could probably play this one blindfolded'. That kind.

I don't care about the type or-- genre or whatever, or when it's from. Just as long as I can find it here.

[There's a slight pause. Then,]

Also, if anybody knows how to transfer music from a cassette tape onto something like... an iPod, that'd be great. Thanks.

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[text | @ t.pagoda]

The festival was cute. Nice little distraction for all of us who got dropped here out of nowhere.

We’re stuck here and have to get used to it. Sure. But who knows the best place to check out fresh foods and spices? I need samples. May as well be eating whatever they give me blindfolded until I know what’s in it. They could be feeding us alien donkey balls for all we know.

Just because we’re stuck in another world doesn’t mean we have to eat like heathens.

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video; un: liches.get.stitches

[Today on your screen is everybody's favorite shitty wizard, who's currently sitting in a park somewhere and using mage hand to make sure the camera is at a good angle.

#priorities]

What's up, my dudes? It's ya boy Taako, here to make a super important announcement to save anyone getting their panties in a twist about this shit.

[He's already nailing this whole polite and informative announcement thing.]

Soooo, the people here aren't evil. [Taako shrugs.] It's a fucking revelation, I know, but listen, they're not lying about the whole portal thing and we're not here to be turned into people soup or whatever the hell folks are worried about. I mean, there's for sure some dicks in the bunch so totally not my fault if you get mugged, but uh, the people overall? Have good intentions.

[There's a shrug there, just to finish off his very well-constructed explanation.

Although he should probably also say how he knows this:]

The spirit of some real old and powerful witch told me this shit, bee-tee-dubs, and yeah, before you ask, I know she was telling the truth. That's how the spell works.

[Just take his word for it, folks!

He looks like he's about to hang up, before pausing.]

Uh, right, there's a whole new load of us idiots, isn't there? Hi, I'm Taako, in case you missed it when I said it thirty seconds ago, and that's T-double-A-K-O, not like the food. Sorry to start you off on such a fucking boring note, but here we are. Welcome to Riverview Quarantine or whatever.

[ok bye]

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α → un: ghostking

thank the gods these things come in greek

i need:

α) directions to the nearest graveyard from the communal housing

β) a place to buy some good cheeseburgers, fries, and dt. coke.
(or animal blood if cheeseburgers are hard to come by)

γ) a prism or some other kind of clear crystal for rainbow making

δ) cooking lessons.

oh, and how many people here are mortals/human or gods/demigods

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|| text | @ciscodelamancha ||

informal poll for you guys. if you had to choose, is this place more like:

a) fantasia, from the neverending story
b) oz, from the wizard of oz
c) wherever the hell it was with the muppets and stuff, from labyrinth
d) wonderland, from alice in wonderland

[ The question might seem like a frivolous one, but the answers should actually be pretty informative, and it's way more fun than just asking people to describe what this place is really like. ]

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Second Ax [@the.boneless, video]

[Ivar's improving on using the video function. This time, he gets it on the first try. His voice is just a little above a whisper and he's looking off to the side at something just beyond the camera. The background shows he's in the forest beyond the city.]

Does anyone know where I can find a fire-proof bridle?

[The question seems a bit of a non-sequitur until he turns the camera to the side. There's a Ponyta standing not too far off. Ivar's been trying to get it closer all afternoon. It's taken a lot of patience, but now it's only about ten feet away. Its diamond-shaped eyes narrow as it watches the Viking and the Pokemon tosses its head, too suspicious to come any closer.]

Come on. I won't hurt you. Just a little further. Come on.

[For someone who usually keeps everyone at arm's length with a combination of sarcasm and toughness, he sounds far more gentle than usual. It seems to be working, as the Ponyta takes a hesitant step forward, ears pricked forward in anticipation. Ivar's face is a combination of wonder and awe. He's about ten seconds away from completely freaking out. This creature looks like something from an old legend, a horse with a mane and tail of fire. This qualifies as the coolest thing he's seen since he came to the city.]